This is my friend Myrna with Stevie Wonder at a technology conference where she was representing Blind Shell, a company that makes smart phones for the visually impaired and blind. She doesn’t know I’m doing this, but I will ask forgiveness later. If she objects, I will take this post down.
The connection to the photo and the title will be at the end of my blog, as usual.
The other day Barry was watching “The Shawshank Redemption.” It’s a great movie in many ways, but some may not care for the violence and what they consider (maybe accurately) the misrepresentation of prison life. But the thought struck me about an analogy to life.
Brooks, played by James Whhitmore, is an elderly prisoner who has spent most of his life in prison. When it is time for his release, he doesn’t want to go. He has become “institutionalized” as Red (played by Morgan Freeman) puts it. He doesn’t want to go, but he must. He ends up committing suicide because he can’t handle life on the outside.
Now, the average person would watch the movie, think it’s good or bad, and then not think about it again except to express an opinion or describe a scene. But me being me…well, you know I look for deeper meaning.
I think many of us become institutionalized in our own way. We work in a job that is low-paying or even one we don’t like because we’re comfortable with it. We’re afraid of the unknown. We stay in towns with little opportunity because our family members are here when even just a short move an hour away would provide a better quality of life. We do the same routines over and over and tell ourselves that is what we enjoy when maybe the truth is we do those things because they bring a certain amount of comfort.
I live in my hometown, but we moved away when I was three. I did not come back to stay until I came here to attend college and stayed after graduation. While growing up, due to the circumstances and situations of my many aunts, uncles, cousins, and maternal grandparents, I did not want to live here. “I will never live there,” I used to tell my parents. My impression of the town was not a good one.
Attending the university, though, was a different matter. I loved the college, the campus, the professors, and the friends I made. When college was over, I found a job in the area and continued to live here. I learned that the college and the town were two separate entities, but it was okay. I didn’t love living here, but I liked it. My friends were here. I was making new friends at work. My parents moved back here, so I stayed. Then I met my future husband, eventually got married, and yes, stayed.
Yet over the years I daydreamed. I thought about places I’d rather live, jobs I’d rather have, things I’d rather be doing. Time marched on, and life moved on as it was with improvements along the way. Yet I never felt that this was to be my permanent home. I dreamed of retirement and moving somewhere else.
You could say I had a restless spirit. That would be an understatement.
Now, however, I no longer have those desires. I’m involved in community activities. My friends are here. No, my closest relatives are not here, and my parents passed away years ago. My children and grandchildren are not here, but they are only 40 minutes away or two hours away. Moving to a new place does not appeal to me because I know it would be difficult if not impossible to make new friends at my age. I have friends here I can count on more than I can count on relatives.
Maybe I’ve become institutionalized, but that’s okay. Maybe I’m just more comfortable with the familiar, and if so, I have no doubt that is due to being the age I am. The things that were so important when I was younger are not important anymore.
But I don’t need to feel too comfortable. I shouldn’t fear new experiences or change, and really, I don’t fear those things. I will admit my vision loss situation has robbed me of independence in more ways than not driving. I am fearless in my comfortable surroundings but apprehensive in other surroundings. I want to overcome those fears and learn to adapt to new settings in which I don’t have to depend on Barry or someone else to help me do things.
I want to be more like Myrna and Stevie Wonder. Myrna has Stargardt’s disease, an inherited retinal condition that made her legally blind when she was 12. She attended public schools for awhile and then a school for the blind. She, like me, relies upon peripheral vision, aids, and technology to do the things she does, including working, raising two daughters, and traveling independently. Yes, she flies to new places alone.; Did you know airlines provide help to the blind at check-in to go through security, find their gate, and give them access to early boarding to find their seat? As for Stevie Wonder, he has been blind since birth because of damage due to too much oxygen when he was born prematurely. Yet look at his success as a musician and singer!
They don’t allow their vision to lock them into a prison. Yet people with perfect health and perfect vision and hearing allow themselves to stay in a prison of their own. I’m not talking about people who are happy with their situation. I’m talking about people who are unhappy with their situation but are too afraid or lazy or intimidated to try to change it.
I’m no longer living in a “prison,” although I confess may home and neighborhood sometimes feel that way. But I would feel that way no matter where I lived unless our town decided to create a wonderful community that is walkable to stores and activities. (Side note: the perfect area, to me, to live is near the university, but there’s nothing near there except for older homes and student housing. Across the bypass doesn’t work because I can’t walk across the bypass, too much traffic, too dangerous. The condo complex behind E.W. James in Union City is perfect–any local developers have any ideas/??)
I now there are some spelling and possibly grammar mistakes in this blog today, but I fixed what I could as I listened to the screenreader. I have it enlarged as large as possible on my 55 inch television, and I can’t find all the mistakes because the words are jumping around, so forgive me. It’s not the most polished piece I’ve ever published,, but maybe you get the meaning.
Which is this. If you are unhappy in your situation, do something to fix it. You may have to fix yourself first. And don’t take this blog as a license to end a marriage. Work on it, if at all possible. Seek professional help. Seek counseling. Your job drives you crazy? Seek a life coach of talk to Chat GBT about jobs that might be a better fit. I’m not suggesting there’s a perfect job out there. I’m saying a better, higher paying, more satisfying job. Believe me, any job you do is going to get old after a while. That’s just life.
We all feel stuck at times. But if we fail to explore possibilities, it is a prison of our own choosing.
Life As I know it 