Tag: faith

Retirement: Living the “Boring but Blessed” Life

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

Meet my much-loved, wonderful family. I am so blessed to have each one of them, so I want to make it clear at the beginning of this blog that I am very, very grateful for all the good things in my life.

After all, in addition to my wonderful family, I live in a comfortable home, am financially comfortable with all my needs and many of my wants met, and am in excellent health. I do not take and have never taken any meds like blood pressure medicine and other medicines common to “older” adults. My blood work at my annual physical is perfect each year. I have limitless energy (well, until around 9:00 P.M.), and it is nothing for me to log a five-to-seven mile walk on any given day.

But one factor about my basic personality is magnified in my current situation of vision loss and being unable to drive.

I’m bored. A lot.

I’ve always been the type of person who needs to be doing something. Television has not been a big thing to me since I was a teen. Sure, there were shows I enjoyed, but for me to sit for hours each evening and watchTV? No. That’s like telling someone who hates to read that they must sit and read a book for three hours each evening. Torture, right?

In my adult years while I was “watching” TV, I was also doing things like grading papers, doing macramé projects, working on cross-stitch projects, doing jigsaw puzzles, sketching, and things like that. For the first ten years of our marriage, my husband worked six days a week, so I spent much of my free time doing laundry, cleaning, running errands, and things like that. I was busy, busy, busy.

Yes, I got tired. It was a treat to have an hour to relax and look at a Southern Living magazine when the boys were young. As they got older and needed my attention less, I had time to do my craft projects (oh, I forgot about the lap quilts I made), read magazines and books, and other things I enjoyed.

I took care of my parents for years. My dad had major back problems, and I did things like mow their yard or take them places. As they aged, I ended up doing things like cleaning their house, getting groceries, and other things they found it difficult to do.

You get the picture. I lived a very “busy but blessed” life.

I know many of you would disagree with me, especially if you’re still working and just longing for retirement, but retirement is okay. Not great. Just okay.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s wonderful not to have an alarm clock controlling my life. And I’m finally starting to adjust to it after having been retired for seven years. The catch is I didn’t want to retire when I did. I had to retire because of the vision stuff.

Other than the first two years or so that I taught, I always enjoyed going to work. I enjoyed being around the people. I enjoyed having a purpose each day, a goal. I loved the feeling on Friday night (the best night of the week at that time) in knowing I didn’t have to go to work the next day and the special feeling of appreciation that brought to me.

Let me reiterate: I did get tired. And I dreamed about not having more time off and more flexibility in my schedule. Yet, looking back, I did not realize how everything that was going on in my life gave me a full life, not an empty one.

You may be thinking, “But now you’ve got all the time in the world to do those craft projects! You’ve got all the time in the world to run your errands! You can do what you want to do when you want to do it!”

No, I can’t. I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining. I can’t drive anymore, so I’m restricted to online shopping or my husband taking me somewhere or running errands for us. I can’t see well enough, even using my assistive devices, to do many of the projects I used to do. And I sure can’t enjoy magazines other than the audio versions on BARD.

Oh, my, it does sound like I’m complaining, doesn’t it? Maybe I am…a little. Not that anyone can change anything about it or make it better.

I know if I lived in the same town as children and grandchildren, I wouldn’t be as bored. I know I would be even more bored if I were not involved in several civic groups and in church activities.

And I know if boredom is the worst thing I have to handle, I am more blessed than many.

The point of this blog? Or rather, the points?

  1. If you’re failing to appreciate what you have today because you are so tired and looking forward to retirement, realize it may not be what you envision. It depends upon your personality, your financial resources, and your hobbies.
  2. Do what you can to enjoy activities now while you have the physical and mental abilities to do them. There is no guarantee you will be able to do those things when you retire.
  3. Plan for your retirement by investing in a 401K or other retirement plan. You may tell yourself that you may not live until retirement so why plan for it, but believe me, you will regret it if your financial situation is very restricted. I’ve seen too many people struggle. You may want to travel or play golf or any number of things that cost money, and if you don’t have enough money to do those things, you will be sorry you didn’t plan for the future.
  4. Take care of your health. Exercise, Eat right. All the stuff you’ve heard but possibly don’t do. You want to have the health to do activities. That is, of course, unless you’re okay with being a total couch potato and stuffing your face with food and drink and not caring about feeling well. If that’s your preferred lifestyle, you will love retirement and doing nothing, but I would predict your years to enjoy that lifestyle may be shortened considerably.
  5. Do your best to be debt-free by the time you retire. I don’t agree with Dave Ramsey about everything, but he’s right about many things He has taken his own bad experience and turned it into a resource for millions. Maybe you should start listening to his podcast or reading his books.

My husband loves retirement, and I’m sure he’s in the majority of retirees, but even he realizes if not for travel and Pickleball, he would be bored many days.

I maintain this blog because it gives me something to do. I’m learning Braille for practical reasons and because it gives me something to do. I listen to audiobooks. I do knitted cap projects using a loom. I paint occasionally. I go to the wellness center. I’m in three civic groups and two bookclubs. I walk my dog regularly. I’m involved in church programs.

But I still have way more hours to fill than hours consumed by responsibilities. So my advice to those of you who may be energetic and goal-driven as I am, make a plan for retirement. Start a second career (even when dreaming of retiring from teaching, I never wanted to retire completely–I wanted to find a fun job like move to Memphis and work at Graceland or move to Nashville and work somewhere fun or even start my own publishing company).

I realize how blessed I am, don’t get me wrong. I cherish each day of my family being healthy and me being healthy because so many are struggling with serious health issues. I don’t mean to make this sound as though I’m unhappy.

I’m not. I just get bored. And if that’s the worst thing I can say about my life, I’m very blessed indeed.

Maybe you need to count your blessings as well as you begin a new year. It always helps put things into perspective. But I’d be curious to know if there are others out there who are like I am. Am I the only weirdo who doesn’t love retirement?A part-time job would be a perfect solution. I want the flex hours to be able to go help with grandchildren when needed (they live over two hours away). I want the Flex Time to go on trips. So, are there any employers interested in a part-time “blind” Spanish teacher or copy editor or content editor? If you want me to teach, I need an assistant with the vision to keep an eye on the students’ behavior since I can’t see faces or even see if there is a body more than ten feet away from me. Interested?

Hmmm…I didn’t think so. But consider the above an application. You may think I’m kidding, but I’m serious.

As I finish this blog, I’m not sure I’ll post it. I will think about it and be sure I feel comfortable with opening myself up like this. As always, I share my personal journey in the hopes of helping others cope with their own or at least put their own lives into perspective.

I guess I’ll stop now and get started on another knitted cap. Avery gave me some new yarn that will make a beautiful one. Our “Mad Hatters” group sends the majority of them to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and it gives me motivation to know one of the patients might benefit from and enjoy waring a cap that I made. One thing I’ve learned about my boredom issues is that if I take the focus off myself and put the focus on someone else in need, my boredom disappears. Serving others truly is the answer to many of life’s problems, even when we’re going through a valley ourselves.

Happy 2026, everyone. And read my blog about virtual travel this year. It may inspire you to do something similar!

Can you answer these questions about Christmas? Take the quiz!

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

This is the 20th Century Club in our community, the oldest women’s civic group in our town. It was formed in 1900, and no, we have no original members still with us. We have members as young as in their fifties (well, one, and she’s not in the picture because she was sick), and our oldest member is 96. But we have fun together, and what follows are some questions we had in a Christmas trivia game we played.

Confession: I created the game by researching. So if one of the answers given is not correct, please comment and let me know.

We did the game as a multiple choice activity, so I will give you those options as well. Correct answers will be at the end of the blog.

Christmas Trivia

  1. When was Dec. 25 first declared to be the date of Jesus’ birth? a. 75 A.D. (I think the proper term these days is C.E. for Common Era, but I still use the B.C. and A.D.) b. 510 A.D. c. 33l6 A.D. d. 190 A.D.
  2. Three wise men from the east followed the star to Bethlehem. a. True. b. False
  3. Which of these Christmas songs has sold the most? a. “Silent Night” b. “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey c. “Blue Christmas” by Elvis. d. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby
  4. When adjusted for inflation, which of these movies grossed the most at the box office? a. “Home Alone” b. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” c. “Christmas Vacation” d. “A Christmas Story”
  5. We Baby Boomers remember the Bob Hope specials that aired around Christmas. How many USO tours did Bob Hope and his variety of guests do for the troops? (not necessarily the Christmas productions) a. 12 b. 81 c. 57 d. 23
  6. Who played “Mary,” Jimmy Stewart’s character’s wife, in “It’s a Wonderful Life?” a. Greer Garson b. Donna Reed c. June Lockhart d. Mary Pickford
  7. How tall is the 2025 Christmas tree at the Rockefeller Center in NYC? a. 75 feet b. 90 feet c. 120 feet d. 140 feet

I had ten questions, but these are all I can remember. I don’t have my original questions because I gave them to someone else to use at another Christmas party. Here are the answers:

  1. 336 A.D. The Roman emperor Constantine declared Dec. 25 to be the date of Jesus’ birth. In 350 A.D. or sometime after that, Pope Julius I made it official as a holiday to be celebrated by Christians. The date coincides with the winter solstice pagan holiday celebrated by Romans at the time. Scholars and theologians agree there is no evidence to support the date, but it is still a time for Christians world-wide to commemorate the birth of Christ.
  2. False. the Bible does not say how many wise men came to see Jesus, but the number “three” is represented because of the three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. In addition, the wise men did not go to the stable where he was born. the Bible says they came to the house where he was, and Biblical scholars say Jesus could have been as old as two years old since Herod had the boys two years old and under slaughtered in his attempt to prevent a new king from taking power.
  3. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby. It has sold more than 50 million copies worldwide.
  4. “Home Alone.” I was surprised to learn that “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and “Christmas Vacation” were also very close, ahead of “Elf” and “A Christmas Story.”
  5. 57. Bob Hope began the USO tours in 1941, and his last one was in 1991 in Saudi Arabia during the Desert Shield era. One source said 47, but other sources said 57, so I went with that. Regardless, it was a lot! He was born on May 29, 1903, so you can do the math!
  6. Donna Reed. Some of us remember “The Donna Reed Show” that aired from 1958 until 1966.
  7. 75 feet. I was surprised by this. I think it looks much taller on television!

How did you do? If I hadn’t been the creator of the game, I would have missed most of these questions. And, like I said, some of the numbers may be off a bit because if the sources used. I tried to use reliable sources since AI, believe it or not, is not perfect!

I won’t blog next week, so I will wish each one of you a wonderful Christmas and hope you will know peace and contentment during a time of year that can be stressful and sad for some as well as happy for others. Many thanks to all who take the time to read my blogs because looking at those stats warms my heart to know so many take the time to do so. I hope you find something in each one that entertains, inspires, comforts, or makes you chuckle.

Happy Holidays!

The importance of quiet time in my life

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

That red glow is not from a forest fire. My son took this photo of the Northern Lights last night. He was not in Iceland or Alaska or any of those places we think of when we hear about the beautiful phenomenon. He was at home, right here in Tennessee.

Every once in a long while they’re visible, and I don’t profess to understand any of the science behind why we can see them so far south, but I am awed by them.

Here’s the catch. I can’t see them in real life because of vision loss. So my son took the picture and sent it to me, knowing I could see the beauty of this event on my large-screen iPad or on my 47 inch TV screen connected to my laptop. It doesn’t matter I can’t see them like he can. Just seeing the photo and knowing they were visible in our area is enough to impress. And maybe my friends who ave no sight can enjoy the sight by hearing a description of the photo.

Photo description: A black sky with a red glow behind tall trees. The trees form a line on each side of the photo with an open area in the middle that extends to the ground. The ground, to me, looks completely black. Small lights are visible in the openings between the branch of the trees.

“Here she goes again,” you may be thinking.”Can she never avoid mentioning something about her vision loss?”

Sure I can. And I’ve tried to avoid mentioning it, but since I am fortunate enough that the biggest hurdle I’ve had to jump in life is the vision loss issue, it is my point of reference. I haven’t struggled (yet) with a major health issue. I have been blessed with a wonderful family and friends. So when I think of the biggest challenge in my life, that’s mine. Yours is something else.

I’m bird walking. Teachers know what that term means. Back to the point I am trying to make.

He took photos of the night sky in Sedona this past June, and I have saved them to my gallery. When I was growing up in Arizona, we sometimes went out on the desert at night. There, away from city lights and without the humidity we have in our area, the stars were amazing. Now the lights of the town and the humidity and cloud cover we often have in addition to my vision issues make that experience a thing of the past. On a clear night, I might be able to see one or two stars that are very bright (probably Venus and Mars, right?), but at least I can see the star-filled sky in the photos. Beautiful.

There is something about the sky that is awe-inspiring to me. I look up at it often in the daytime. Sky blue is my favorite color, and the colors of the sunset…well, I just love the sky. Just looking at it brings me a sense of calm and wonder and appreciation. It quiets my soul.

My point? I think we humans often focus on the negatives instead of the positives. It’s human nature, I think, but I do believe it’s worse than it used to be. Blame social media or what’s going on in the world or the higher population (in 1960, the population of the U.S. was 181 million, today it’s 347 million), but it’s worse. We are bombarded with conflicting opinions, hate speech, too many activities to fill our time, and other things that harm our emotional well-being.

My solution? I watch the national nightly news maybe once a week. I watch the local news more often because their stories concern our area. I don’t scroll my phone. True, it’s mainly due to the vision loss because I have to use Voice Over which is not perfect and often annoying), but I check notifications on Facebook each day (usually), post a few times a week as the mood strikes, and live my life in my community as best I can. I stay informed, but I don’t obsess.

And I have quiet time. I sit on my front porch when the weather allows with no noise except for the sounds of nature and the wind chimes when the breeze is strong enough. If the weather is too cold, I find a spot indoors just to be. Just to be by myself with my own thoughts. I pray during those times. I reflect. But for at least fifteen minutes, I have quiet.

Yesterday my husband and I went to a town an hour away to do some shopping since he has no luck with online shopping for clothes and needs to try them on and our town is limited in its offerings. While there in the men’s department, I was touching all the clothes to feel the fabric and discovered some pajama pants that were so soft and warm, I just had to have a pair. Yes, they were in the men’s department, but I purchased a small, and though they’re a little long even for my five foot seven and a half inch self, they are wonderful. Last night, I put them on and commented more than once, “I just love these pajama pants. I wish I had bought more!” Just wearing them soothes me and makes everything feel cozy.

Photos (or descriptions) of the night sky, looking at the daytime sky, feeling the warmth of a comfortable pair of pajama pants, quiet time…the small joys of life.

I still fall victim to the negative mentality at times. I wish I didn’t, but occasionally I slip into that pit of wishing my life were perfect according to the way I see perfect.

Then I go on YouTube and watch the young man paralyzed from the chest down because of a dirt-bike accident and how he navigates life or talk to a VIP friend who has worse vision than I do or no vision at all, and it brings me back to the mindset of being grateful for what I have instead of being bothered by what I don’t.

I guess I sound like someone being preachy or being a counselor, for which I’m not qualified, but that’s not my intent. My intent is to share my own journey and thoughts in the hope it will help just one person who is navigating a difficult path. And I’m writing this because it serves as a reminder to me to practice what I preach. Hey, I guess I am being preachy!

When I was working, I often said working was what kept me sane. The busyness of life kept me from focusing on the worries and disappointments that life throws our way. As a teacher and principal, I was too occupied with school duties to think about my personal situation. Long days that extended into night activities like ballgames made me too exhausted to worry when I got home. Keeping busy really is a good thing in many ways, but I still carved out my quiet time. It was fifteen minutes each morning, before my family woke up, and those fifteen minutes calmed my spirit before beginning yet another hectic day.

There’s a song we sing at our worship services based on a Bible passage whose lyrics include, “Be still and know I am God.” There is a great deal of wisdom in that simple statement.

Be still.

And if your life is not a busy one and you have too much still time, be busy. Oh, my, that’s a blog for another day!

Chances are if you’ve made it this far reading my blog, you are doing so simply because you know me personally or because you can relate. People who don’t relate likely stopped reading after the second paragraph if they even made it that far. And that’s okay.

The holiday season brings joy to some and sorrow to others due to many causes. If you are someone who struggles during this time of year, I hope you can find joy in the little things of life if circumstances have robbed you of the big things. I hope if you’re lonely that you will reach out to someone else who may be lonely so you can help each other. I hope you can know peace.

Best wishes to all, and thank you for reading and/or following my blog. I am grateful for you!

Father’s Day thoughts and chocolate oatmeal cookies

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

No, this isn’t anyone in my family. It’s AI generated. But it serves the purpose. And yes, I do have a recipe at the end of this blog. I think that will become a regular part of my blogging.

This Sunday, millions of men will attend church services, and odds are high they will hear a Father’s Day sermon. But based upon what I’ve heard in the past, that sermon will be nothing like the Mother’s Day sermon. On Mother’s Day, mothers are thanked, glorified, praised…you get the idea. Father’s Day sermons are more like warnings and reprimands. Or the role of earthly fathers is briefly mentioned as the sermon goes on to talk about our Heavenly Father. Which is right and should always be a focus of any worship service, but how about encouraging the earthly fathers who are sacrificing their time, money, and energy for their children?

Our society has evolved from the 1950s “Father Knows Best” or Ward Cleaver to George Jefferson and Archie Bunker (who were always wrong) to Tool Time’s Tim Taylor who was an overgrown boy in a man’s body. Somehow men have become the objects of ridicule, criticism, and jokes.

I know I’m speaking in general, and it’s not always the case. I’ve kidded with people and said the tGod created Adam and then said, “There’s no way this guy can make it on his own. I need to create woman.” But I’m joking. The truth is, the world needs both men and women, and as long as the two work together instead of against each other, the world can be a better place.

With these thoughts in mind, then, I choose to blog today about the importance and value of fathers who are doing their best to raise children and be there for their adult children.

To all the dads who stayed up late on Christmas Eve working on the “some assembly required” projects, thank you. To the dads who attended every recital, every ballgame, every cheerleading or band competition, thank you. To the dads who worked long and hard to contribute to the family finances, thank you. To the dads who treated and treat your wives well as an example to your children of what a husband should be like, thank you. To the dads who don’t leave all the parenting to the moms and are actively involved in raising their children, thank you. To the single dads raising children on your own, thank you. And, as a Christian, I have to say to the dads who taught their children about faith, thank you.

I could go on and on. Fathers who are being the best fathers they know how to be deserve recognition. Fathers who have abandoned their roles–how sad. They have hurt their children, no doubt, but they may realize someday they have also hurt themselves.

I know that my husband, as the father of a 42-year-old and a 36-year-old, loves his “boys” deeply. Like me, he sees them as the men they have become, but like me, he hasn’t forgotten the children they were. He was always and is always there for them. They know that. They may not say it (you know, you can’t get mushy with a dad, right?), but they know it. And I know they’re grateful.

My dad passed away in 2012. I missed him for a long time. He and I could talk in ways that I was never able to do with my mom. She and I had a different dynamic. I was such a daddy’s girl. He influenced me in so many ways–his work ethic, his devotion to God, his lack of prejudice in a generation that was very prejudiced, and his loyalty to family. Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but no one is. Sure, he made some mistakes in parenting as we all do. But he did his best.

It is my hope that you dads will be honored appropriately this Father’s Day. It’s my hope that you will receive the recognition you deserve and the encouragement you need. It is my hope that the fathers who have abandoned their roles, either physically, emotionally, or both, will reconsider and change their ways.

And now for the chocolate oatmeal cookie recipe. This was my mother-in-law’s recipe, and my husband can make it better than I can. He is learning to be quite the cook these days. Enjoy!

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

Ingredients

2 cups white sugar

1/2 cup Hershey’s cocoa

1/2 cup milk

1/2 stick unsalted butter

3 cups instant oats

In a saucepan on medium high heat, stir together sugar, cocoa, and milk. Bring to a rolling boil and set off of heat. Add 1/2 stick butter and stir until melted. Gradually stir in oats. Drop by spoonfuls onto waxed paper and allow to cool. Remove from waxed paper and store in airtight container.

Casserole Crew, Mad Hatters, Esther Class…and more

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

One of the blessings of being retired is the time to do more for others. A blessing of being a part of a church family gives me more opportunities to do those things.

Civic groups are great, and no doubt there are multiple opportunities to help the community at large as well as individuals through those groups. I’m in three of them.

But our congregation, which normally has attendance in the upper 300’s most Sunday mornings, has multiple behind-the-scenes activities going on, things I’ve learned about and some of which I’ve become a part of, that I believe are worth sharing with people outside of our church family. Maybe you can get some ideas for your own church or be interested in sharing what your congregation does.

The Mad Hatters is a group of women that began years ago with just a few, maybe five or six, who got together monthly to crochet caps to distribute to hospitals for premature babies, children, and adults. There were five of us yesterday, and while we worked with the looms to crochet the hats (in case you’re wondering, I’m able to do this by using some specialized glasses and a very bright light–it’s a slow process but enjoyable) we talked and shared things going on in our lives. Yes, there was quite a bit of grandchildren talk. Once a certain number is completed, we donate them to local hospitals plus the VA in Memphis and St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. I’ve been a part of the group for about a year, but most of the women have been doing this a very long time, at their own expense. When Hobby Lobby has a sale, they take advantage of it! Since beginning this group years ago, they’ve given away, I think, around 15,000 caps. That’s right, 15,000. When I work on my projects at home, I’m motivated by knowing what I’m making may help a baby, a child fighting cancer (or adult), and a homeless veteran in need of warmth. I’m not quite finished with the project depicted, but you can see the loom used to make it. You don’t have to use crochet needles. Anyone can do this.

Then there’s the Casserole Crew. It began as the brainchild of a couple of women in our congregation. On the first Tuesday of each month September through May, several of us get together to make 20 casseroles (not the full size, the size in the picture) to give to those in need. It began as a ministry for widows and widowers in our congregation, and they are still among the recipients, but it has expanded to include shut-ins, those fighting illnesses, and people in our community who might need a visit and some food. A dessert is always a part of the package, but honestly, from what we hear, the recipients are more appreciative of the visit when the food is delivered than they are the food. Shut-ins, especially, or those who live alone and are limited in their ability to get out and about, seem to love the chance to talk with others outside of their normal circle.

Our Esther Class is simply a ladies class. We study different topics, our current one being a study of prayer, but we also do an annual Christmas meal for the “single senior saints” of our congregation. The meal is a lunch after Sunday morning services, and it is traditionally lasagna, salad, bread, and a wide selection of desserts. Games, songs (sung by some of the children of the young ladies in the class), and conversation make it a special event (we hope) for our members who are older and live alone.

There are other acts of service of which I’m not a part, but because I’m a part of these activities, I thought I would write about them. The men and women of our congregation do multiple individual acts of service behind the scenes–transporting people places, sending cards, making phone calls, visiting, helping with house maintenance issues, and more.

I remember President George H. W. Bush spoke of the 1,000 points of light concept. His point was that if each of us in our own community did acts of service and kindness to make our communities better, our nation would become better. I agree. Whether it’s through a church, a civic organization, or just an individual effort, our world is a better place. You can go to third-world countries and do amazing things, but for those of us who don’t have the means or the courage or abilities to do that, there are needs right here at home.

I used to tell myself my job as a teacher was a sort of ministry. If you’re a teacher, nurse, doctor, social worker, therapist, firefighter, police officer, or other occupations I can’t think of right now, you know what I mean. Those careers are all about service to others.

I’d love to know what your church or civic group does to make this world a better place. I may look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but I believe in the goodness of people, and I have hope for a bright future for my grandchildren.

Doing for others helps us take the focus off our own problems. It’s a win-win for everyone involved!