Pam Harris, "blind" writer

When life gives you lemons…make lemon pie?

June 1, 2025June 1, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

I should have posted a picture of lemon pie instead of an abstract water color, but the painting has a point.

I’ve always loved art, for as long as I can remember. With the vision thing, doing detailed art is not easy and seemingly impossible (I haven’t given up yet), but I still enjoy the process. A young woman on YouTube has some fun watercolor projects, and I decided to try her technique. Is it a beautiful art piece? Absolutely no. Was it fun to do? You betcha.

Doing this activity today was especially meaningful. You see, I have a long-standing dislike of Sunday afternoons. Not Sundays. Sunday afternoons. The whole tone of a Sunday afternoon, to me, is BORING. I don’t want to rest. I don’t want to nap. I don’t want to watch TV or read a book. I want to DO something.

When I was working, I longed to do something fun on Sunday afternoons like hike, boat, play tennis, etc. Yes, you’re right, something active. But there was no one to do those things with, so I compromised by going on long walks, going to see my parents, and things like that. And it was fine, except for the Sunday afternoons I had to grade papers instead. Man, if I had it to over, maybe I wouldn’t have been so dedicated. Well, maybe. I’m too much of that kind of teacher.

In retirement, however, I walk all the time, so I don’t feel that urge on Sunday afternoons. I want to do something different. Being unable to drive and with no female friends who have my Sunday afternoon energy level, I have to get creative. Sometimes I do what I call intervals–I tell Alexa to play songs by The Beach Boys or whomever, and I do four different activities. First, I use a weighted hula hoop for the duration of a song. Then I use my stepper for one song. Then I do some Jazzercise moves (remember that?) during a song. Then I use my five-pound or ten-pound dumbbells for one song. Then start over and do the routine for thirty minutes. Stretch afterwards. Collapse for a few minutes until batteries are recharged.

Sometimes I do boredom baking. I make homemade bread or cookies or whatever, depending on what I have on hand. This is usually a cold-weather go-to.

Today, however, I wanted to do artwork. So I took my supplies outside and worked under the umbrella of our patio table. I did two abstract watercolors and sketched one picture with a marker like a Sharpie and colored it in with markers and colored pencils. My guy ended up looking like a terrorist. Oops!

I listened to music while I worked, and I have to say it left me in a good mood. The experience was a reminder, and I hope I will remember this lesson.

The reminder? I should always strive to overcome my circumstances and my obstacles to do the things I love. I shouldn’t quit before I try, and I shouldn’t allow my spirits to drop just because I can’t do them as well as I once did. I may have to adjust my expectations, but that’s okey. The point is to find joy in doing things I love to do, to being with my loved ones, to cherish my friendships, and to count my blessings because there are so many.

A while back, I taught our ladies’ class at church and a part of the lesson was reflecting on the Serenity Prayer and the lessons we learn from it. Since that time, my daily prayer, along with praying about other things, is the Serenity Prayer. I pray it daily, and I pray it with meaning.

Here is my version of it: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Only pray it if you mean it. It won’t work unless you truly do.

You may be wondering why I changed the old saying from “lemonade” to “lemon pie.” Because lemon pie is richer, more of a treat, and more valuable. I think most people would rather have it. So in closing, I’ll share my recipe that is a favorite in our family.

Lemon Icebox Pie

Ingredients:

one packet of graham crackers, crushed

3/4 stick melted butter (note: you can buy a prepared graham cracker crust, but we like the homemade better. And if you’re not concerned about cholesterol or calories, you can use an entire stick of butter.)

one can sweetened condensed milk

3 eggs, divided

the juice of 3 lemons OR 1/3 cup of RealLemon juice

Instructions:

Crush graham crackers using a food processor or placing between waxed paper and crushing with a rolling pin or large drinking glass. Place in bowl and store in melted butter. Spread contents in a pie plate. Set aside.

Cut lemons in half and squeeze juice into a measuring cup. You can use a juicer or just squeeze with your hands. Be sure you get 1/3 cup of juice, and be sure to remove seeds.

In a mixing bowl, pour condensed milk. Add three egg YOLKS and stir well with a rubber spatula or a spoon. Add lemon juice and stir until mixture thickens. Pour into prepared crust and smooth evenly.

In a separate bowl, add egg whites and a dash of salt or pinch of cream of tartar. Beat with a hand mixer until soft peaks form. Add two tablespoons of granulated sugar and mix well. Top pie with meringue. Place in a 350 degree oven until the meringue is lightly browned. I usually start checking after ten minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool completely before covering and placing in refrigerator to chill several hours before serving.

Enjoy!

Life Lessons Learned from Vision Loss: Maybe They Apply to You

May 17, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

We love the Smoky Mountains, so we go at least once a year. However, I no longer enjoy the beautiful scenery as I once did. I can kind of see it but not really, but guess what? I took this photo from the balcony of our condo and with it uploaded on this site and displayed on the 47-inch television I have my computer connected to, I can appreciate the beauty that area has to offer.

I’m grateful I can at least do that.

My vision loss journey was a long one, but it accelerated in 2019 when I started noticing a fog when looking straight ahead. That fog looked like an actual cloud, and it began maybe 100 feet away from me, maybe farther. I could see everything clearly up to that point, and I could see above and below that foggy cloud, but the cloud obscured what I looked at directly.

I was devastated when that happened, but now I can tell you I’d love to be able to see that well again. Now the fog is everywhere. The only time I don’t feel like I’m looking through a fogged-up window is when I look downward. I’m then able, by using my peripheral vision, to see a slice of the world without fog.

I’m not complaining. I’m just explaining. This description ties in with life lessons I have learned. Some may even apply to you.

No matter what you’re going through, be grateful for the good things in your life. That’s easier said than done, I know. If you have aches and pains and wish you could run around like you once did, be grateful if you can still walk on your own. Just like my fog story, your condition may worsen until you are unable to move on your own, so be grateful you can do so now.
Don’t be afraid to learn how to do old things in a new way. We baby-boomers are sometimes resistant to learning technology, but in the world we live in, it is almost essential. No doubt we won’t ever be as comfortable with it as younger people, but I’ve been forced to learn to use Voice Over, speech to text, video descriptions for movies and television (a narrator describes the action), and how to use my laptop by having it connected to the large-screen TV. I use a screen reader to have all sorts of things read to me. If I can do those things, you fellow baby-boomers can learn to do simpler things, right?
Reach out to others who are going through a similar struggle. You may not need their support, but they likely need yours. I have learned a great deal in two support groups on Facebook. I share tips I’ve learned, and theirs. Every now and then someone needs an emotional boost, so it helps with that also.
Trust others. With my inability to drive , I have to rely on others. I can’t see well enough to be a “back-seat” driver, so I have no choice but to keep silent.
Don’t judge someone by his or her appearance. I can’t tell how someone is dressed, how covered with tattoos they are (that is an issue with many in my generation–sorry, it’s just that way, not saying it’s right), or even what kind of car someone drives. I know we all make assessments of others in many ways, but my assessments are based on the person’s tone of voice, language, attitude, and actions. Even with those assessments, it doesn’t take away from the fact that there are many kind, helpful people in this world who don’t fit the social norms.
If you’re sad, cry about it or be despondent, but don’t take it out on others. Biting someone else’s head off just because you’re feeling down and out or bitter is…unkind, selfish, and childish. Sure, we’re all going to have our times that we snap at someone or say something unkind, but don’t think you make the world a better place by making it revolve around you.
Shut-ins are lonely and bored unless their health is so bad they don’t care or unless they are loners at heart. When my husband was working, I was stuck at home many days because the weather prevented me from being outside or walking to town to the library. I was still learning what I could and could not do with the vision loss. That gave me a new empathy for shut-ins. If you know someone in that situation, at least call every now and then if you can’t go by and visit. And if they’re able to get out a little bit, offer to take them somewhere, even if it’s just a drive around the countryside. They’ll let you know if they’re interested or not.
Despite #7, sometimes you just have to get over it and figure things out. It may take a while, but you have to re-adjust your thinking. If you can no longer do things you once loved, find something else. It may take a while to discover it, but if you keep at it, you will find it. I can no longer read books, but I listen to audiobooks and podcasts. I can’t sketch as I once did, so I draw cartoons with a marker. (I’m still working on that one, though, using my CCTV.) I do bad watercolors that are fun to do. I play with Play-Doh. Yes, it’s not just for kids! You get the idea.
Swallow your pride. The first time I accepted a ride with an 88-year-old woman who offered to drive me to a civic meeting, I was appreciative and embarrassed at the same time. There I was, 25 years younger and almost a foot taller, and she was the one giving me a ride. But I accepted because of her kindness. There are times people have to help me by warning me about curbs and things like that, and while it is humiliating to be the one needing that assistance, it’s often necessary, so I just have to accept it and go on.
It’s okay to be down and out at times, but it’s not okay to stay that way. Allow yourself some self-pity moments or cry, but don’t wallow in it. Drowning in our sorrows does no one any good. There are countless people who have endured unthinkable losses, live with unbelievable disabilities, or endure constant pain who choose to make things better for others. Don’t believe me? Search YouTube for Joni and Friends. Find the quadriplegic young woman who is an occupational therapist and demonstrates how she navigates life. Search for someone going through the same difficulty you are.

Years ago, the Serenity Prayer was a big deal. I think still is. Here’s the version I use: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

And maybe add one thing: God, help me to focus on others more than myself.

These are the lessons I’ve learned. I’m sure there are more I did not verbalize, and you likely have your own lessons you could share. I’d love to hear your recommendations.

Widowhood

May 7, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

Widowhood is on my mind lately because of so many friends and family members who are dealing with learning to live a new normal. I watch them and hurt for them. I notice how they handle it differently. I listen to them. And I’ve learned some universal truths.

First, widowhood is no respecter of age. It can happen to anyone at any time.

Second, the nights are the worst for most. They can keep busy during the daytime hours, but the evenings can seem long and lonely. Eating alone, whether at home or in a restaurant, is a struggle.

Third, triggers can generate sadness even years after the loss of a spouse. Finding a cup I the back of the cabinet that your loved one used for coffee. Feeling like the odd one out in gatherings consisting of couples. Feeling left out when former couple friends do not include you in their activities. Yet if you go, the fifth-wheel feeling dampens the enjoyment.

Those are the key commonalities I’ve noticed. But here are the differences in coping I’ve observed.

Some isolate. They don’t want to be around others.

Some throw themselves into service for others. They fill their days with helping those who need assistance with transportation, health issues, and doing anything they can to take their minds off their alone state.

Some date again. Quickly. They’re not going to live life alone, no matter how much they loved their spouse, and they are looking for someone else to fill that empty chair at the table and that empty side of the bed.

Some read books about widowhood, attend support group meetings, or reach out to others in the same situation. Many read the Bible or other religious books to find solace and healing.

Younger widows devote themselves to their children. They put their children’s needs first and focus on building a happy home.

I could go on with more observations, but there are far too many because each person handles it differently. It gets better with time for most, but life is never the same. That doesn’t mean it can’t be good.

I don’t know how I would be if I were widowed. No one does until you walk that path yourself. But I think I would want the following from my friends and family if I were ever faced with that grief. The following is what I would want to say, based upon conversations with widows.

I’m grateful for your support at the time of loss, but I’d want you not to forget about me after the initial attention has waned. I would need your support.

If my children live in the same town or at least nearby, please include me in your family meals at times. I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I’d ask her to have mother-daughter days from time to time. Hey, that’s a great idea even if Mom isn’t widowed. Moms and daughters have a unique bond. Don’t wait until Mom is alone to spend time with her.

It’s okay if I cry and feel lonely. It’s part of the grieving process, and it’s part of learning how to live my new normal. But don’t say things to me like, “Count your blessings” or “It could be worse.” I would know that with my head, but you saying that won’t make me feel it with my heart. It will take time to heal. So let me.

As I write this, I realize the same things could apply to those who have gone through a divorce since they, too, must learn to live a new normal.

I don’t like to think about being alone at some point in my life, but I can’t help but think about it as more and more of my friends lose their spouses. I do know my personality, however. I know I’d be hosting meals in my home for others from time to time. Knowing me, I’d start a widows’ dinner club in which everyone brings a dish and we’d spend time together on at least a monthly basis. I’d cry a lot. Yes, I’m one of those people who cries easily. I’d do what I do now when my limited life caused by vision loss overwhelms me. I’d call friends, I’d call shut-ins, I’d send cards, I’d try to do something for others.

And as long as I’m physically able, I’d exercise. I’d go for long walks or swim or do my intervals (yes, I have a home interval fitness program I’d be happy to share with you if interested), and I’d even go on trips. I’d do whatever I could to escape the aloneness of my life.

But I would never get over the grief completely. I’d handle it better at times than others, but I’d still have my moments. I know that about myself. I’m very self-aware.

Maybe. The truth is, I don’t know what I’d do until I am forced to face it. I may never face it. My husband may be the one dealing with widowhood. He will handle things in his own way.

To all of you who are widowed or divorced, please know that many of us see you. We see your pain. We see your valiant efforts to move on. We may not talk about it, but we’re aware. So we pay for you and do what we can, knowing all along we can’t fix things.

But maybe we can brighten your day in some small way. And maybe your grief will lessen as time goes on and the memories of your life with your loved one will bring laughter instead of tears and joy instead of heartache.

Kentucky Derby weekend–anyone planning to try a Kentucky Hot Brown?

May 1, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

July 2024 at Claiborne Farm in Paris, Kentucky. I am feeding a peppermint to a retired race horse worth…wait for it…$85 million.

That’s right, $85 million. Just ten minutes prior to this I had fed a peppermint to his grandson worth $11 million.

I am not a proponent of the gambling involved with horse racing, but I do love the drama of the Derby, the build-up of talking about the horses, the two-minute race that keeps you on edge wondering if the horse you think will win actually does. And I love horses.

Last summer, some friends called to see if we wanted to make a quick trip to Lexington, Kentucky, with a stop at Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace and childhood home in Hodgenville, Kentucky. It was a great trip, one of those unexpected surprises when you really have no particular expectations and end up having a great time.

Claiborne Farm is a breeding farm and is the location of Secretariat’s grave. When a race horse’s career is over at a young age, he is then used for breeding. Our tour group was small with an in-person guide instead of the usual audio or iPad device, and we were able to ask questions as we walked from barn to barn. The walk was an easy one, nothing long or strenuous, and for a gal like me who longed to live on a ranch even into adulthood, it was extra special.

I learned that normally only three parts of the horse are buried–the head, the heart, and the hooves. In Secretariat’s case, though, the entire body was buried. We had seen the movie, but hearing about the famous racehorse prompted us to watch the movie again after we returned home and to pull up all three of his races that were a part of the Triple Crown on YouTube.

We also went to the Kentucky Horse Park where we saw more horses along with demonstrations, but the highlight for me was seeing the skeleton of Lexington, the horse on which Geraldine Brooks’s book Horse is based. Everyone knows that is my current favorite book. Like some of Lisa Wingate’s books, I listen to it at least once a year. I have blogged about it before, so go back to my previous blogs and look for a photo of Barry and me standing in front of a horse skeleton.

I told our friends that we would get together for the Derby in May 2025. I would make Kentucky Hot Browns, and we’d watch the race together. No, no large hats and no mint juleps and no wagering, but we’re going to do it. I’ve never made a Kentucky Hot Brown before, so this could be interesting.

And I’m going to share something about me. I seem to have an uncanny ability to pick the winners. My pics are often against what the odds makers say. No, I’m not going to post my picks so you can bet on a horse I think will win. But I want to see if my streak holds out. I don’t study the horses in advance. I just watch the preliminary information then watch each horse as the jockey rides it to the starting gate. That’s when I make my decision.

Will I be right this year? I’ll find out on Saturday. And even if I’m wrong, it will be a fun time with friends as we relive our fun trip and make new memories. You can’t beat that.

Great places I’ve seen, and places I want to go

April 21, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

I took this photo in Nassau, Bahamas, when we went there on a cruise in 2023.

We live in an amazing world, and one lifetime is not enough to see all I’d like to see. After all, life has been full of responsibilities and busyness, not to mention financial considerations, so to think that anyone outside of the very rich could go everywhere they’d like to go is unlikely. Notice I didn’t say impossible.

Some people don’t like to travel to new places. I know many who prefer to go to the beach every year on vacation, and that’s fine.

But that’s not me. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe you’re still dreaming of all the places you want to go. Maybe you “visit” them by watching YouTube videos. Maybe you wonder if going there would be worth it.

Allow me to make a few recommendations:

The Grand Canyon, specifically the south rim. No video or photograph can do it justice. It is a feeling as much as a view.
Washington, D.C. Don’t think I’m crazy, but seeing our nation’s capital (and Capitol) is a must. The museums, the historical buildings, Arlington Cemetery, the house where President Lincoln died…be sure to go to Alexandria, Virginia, and ride the trolley down King (or is it King’s) Road (Street?) and hang out by the Potomac
The Great Smoky Mountains. Whether you are into nature or into commercialization, you can pick and choose. Whether you choose to hike, go tubing or rafting, ride zip lines and mountain coasters, or spend hours shopping in one specialty/touristy shop after another, it’s all there. And rent a cabin. They have amenities to keep you busy or comfort to allow you to be lazy.
The Outer Banks, North Carolina. Stay in Southern Shores or Duck. Go to Manteo to explore a replica of The Lost Colony, go to Kitty Hawk (well, Kill Devil Hills) to see the site of the Wright brothers’ first flight, and enjoy time on a beach NOT lined with condos but rather private residences and not as crowded as Florida beaches. By the way, I’m not a fan of Florida. It’s okay, but just not a fan.
Sedona ad Old Town Scottsdale, Arizona. Enjoy Sedona’s shops, restaurants, red rock beauty, and surreal atmosphere. Enjoy an upscale old west environment in Scottsdale. Shop at Gilbert Ortega Galleries in Scottsdale, but be prepared to pay a high amount for anything you buy. Still, it’s fun to look at what they have to offer.
San Antonio, Texas. Six Flags Fiesta Texas for the kiddos, and the whole family will enjoy Sea World. Be sure to eat at Mi Tierra and shop in El Mercado, take a boat ride on the San Antonio River by the mall across from the Alamo. And, oh, of course, visit The Alamo. It’s not very big.

I could continue with more, but I’ll move along to where I would like to go.

All over Europe, specifically France, Spain, Switzerland, and Austria. Yes, blame “The Sound of Music” for Austria. Blame “Heidi” for Switzerland. Blame my majoring in Spanish for Spain. And blame my ancestry and minoring in French for France.
New York City. Not a long stay. Just enough to see all the must-see stuff.
Boston, Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard.
Wyoming and Montana.
I once had a desire to go to Israel, but the area is too unsafe, so I am content watching “Drive-Thru History: The Gospels” and “Drive-Thru History: Acts to Revelation” on Prime Video. It’s free, by the way.

Now you know my top picks. What about yours?

Our local library–a gem for the community

April 11, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

I love putting jigsaw puzzles together. I used to spend free time with a large plywood board on my lap assembling Thomas Kinkade and similar-themed puzzles. Many were the 1,000 piece sets. When I finished, I brushed them with puzzle glue, framed them with a poster frame, and used them as changeable décor in the bedrooms of our house.

Vision loss, obviously, took that away from me. But I did discover I could put together large piece puzzles using special lighting and devices. There aren’t many, and I’ve only found 100 piece or fewer puzzles. Because they are not as beautiful as the ones I once assembled, I have no desire to glue and frame them. So why buy one? Especially when I can go to our local library and check them out.

So far, I can only find the ones I need in the children’s department, but that’s okay. I have assembled beach scenes, Disney scenes, and the Noah’s ark pictured, and I’ve avoided the themes that don’t interest me like dinosaurs.

But isn’t it cool I can check them out then return them?

Like to decorate cakes? Our library has an assortment of cake pans so you don’t have to buy your own. Do family research in the genealogy room, use one of the study rooms for group study or tutoring, take your children to story time or any of the other programs offered for children, learn how to do things in the Make-it Space, record your own podcast, music, or video in the recording studio, let your children play with a light board, lLegos, and more. Teens can go to the teen room for video games. Attend free classes offered in the computer room or just use one of the multiple computers in the children’s and adult departments.

The library is a hub of community activity. It is open until 8:00 P.M. on Thursday nights. Last night there were four activities going on. An author of poetry doing a reading and answering questions in the Tennessee room. The Humanities group from the local university having selected students present their work. Another group meeting in the board room. And something going on in one of the rooms of the Event Center downstairs.

Let’s not forget the bookstore that sells used books, CD’s, and DVD’s along with old yearbooks. This is the area you can eat or drink while you read a book or just chat with friends. Vending machines, comfortable chairs, and chairs and tables provide a place to “just be.”

The large outdoor stage hosts everything from music to community-wide church services to plays. The Event Center is the location of countless civic group meetings, special celebrations such as anniversaries, prom, fund-raising dinners, and more.

For years, our town of around 11,000 had to rely on resources on the campus of the local university, but now we don’t have to do that. We have our own resource.

The library of the 21st Century is so much more than a place for books. It’s a place to gather. It’s a place for providing free services to meet the needs of the community. It’s a place for learning.

And for a book nerd like me, it’s a place that brings comfort. I can no longer read an actual book, but I have to admit I like to stroll the aisles and just touch the covers. Audiobooks are my only access to reading, and I’m grateful, but just as the former athlete finds the ballpark, gym, court, or stadium a familiar place that brings an indescribable feeling, that’s what a library or bookstore does for me.

Our local library. Your local library. Check it out. You may be surprised at what you find.

What I Miss about Teaching

April 2, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

I know what many of you teachers–both former and current–are thinking. You don’t miss–or would not miss–anything about teaching.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t miss getting up at 5:30 every day and getting to work so early. I don’t miss lesson plans (well, I really didn’t mind them once I learned how to do them), grading papers, useless in-service sessions (yes, I said it for you, teachers–most were not that beneficial, right?), and dealing with discipline issues. I’m glad I can take my time in the mornings.

But when 9:00 arrives, I am ready to do something productive. And I think about my days in education.

It will soon be seven years since I was forced to retire because of vision loss. I didn’t intend to retire at that age. I was in my most fun year of teaching I’d had my entire career. I had one class of French 2, two classes of French 1, two theater arts classes, and one study hall. My classes were no more than 20 students.

I was also the Drama Club sponsor. Give that assignment to the gal who was in plays in high school and even a play entirely in Spanish in college who always wished she had the time to participate in community theater, and you’ve made one gal very happy.

I loved the flexibility of teaching theater arts. Yes, there were standards, but they were very broad. So my class looked like this: Mondays: instruction and activities from a chapter in the book; Tuesdays–Tech Tuesdays when we went to the lab and researched things related to theater and performing or created something connected to what we were learning; Writing Wednesdays: the students were in groups and each Wednesday worked on a writing project. They had to write a short play the first semester, which they performed at the end of the semester, and they had to write a short movie the second semester which they recorded, and I played them for the class: Throwback Thursdays: review and quiz or test day; Fun Fridays–anything from improv to acting games to whatever.

Yes, an artsy theater teacher’s dream job.

But I had many other great years. I know some people cringe at the thought of teaching high school, but I loved high school students. Well, I did after the first couple of horrible years during which I had to learn what I was doing (I apologize to those students for my lack of experience). And, yes, occasionally there was that student who was disrespectful or hated me or hated my class or whatever, but the vast majority of students were well-behaved, respectful, and fun to teach.

It often makes my day to encounter a former student and catch up on what’s going on in their lives. I loved it when I stood in the hall during class changes and students spoke to me as they walked past or even stopped to chat. The words, “Hey, Mrs. Harris!” were always music to my ears. And it is gratifying to see how many have gone on to become successful, productive adults who are now seeing to my needs in the medical field and other areas.

So what do I miss about teaching? Planning lessons (see, I changed my mind from the beginning of this post) is one, although I did get tired of teaching the same thing year after year when I was teaching just Spanish or just French. I like variety. Working with other teachers and enjoying conversations with them is another.

But #1 is the students. They kept me busy, kept me laughing, sometimes kept me tutoring or even counseling, and kept me busy focusing on someone else rather than myself.

No, I don’t want to go back to the classroom, even if I could. I’m too old now to relate to them, and the truth is, I’d be so much older than most of my co-workers, I wouldn’t have a lot in common with them.

But I cherish the memories of the good times in education while conveniently forgetting the more difficult ones. So, to my former students, thank you for your part in enriching my life.And if you see me at Walmart or anywhere and I don’t see you, please say “Hey, Mrs. Harris!” It’s still music to my ears.

Embarrassing blind moments

March 27, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

Our dog and I have something in common. Read on to find out what it is.

If you read my book Learning to Live with Vision Loss, you understand what blindness is and what it isn’t. But in case you haven’t, I’ll share that 85% to 90% of people considered blind (i.e. legally blind) have some functional vision. Some may only see light and dark, but most of us have enough vision to do daily tasks using technology and other aids.

That means we sometimes think we are seeing more than we are.

In my book, I shared the funny story about the time I thought I’d killed a fly in the kitchen only to have my husband tell me, “You sure did. You definitely got that popcorn kernel.” It was a funny blind moment, not an embarrassing one.

Then there was the time we stopped at a rest area on the interstate. We have traveled I-40 in our state frequently, and when my husband parked at the rest area, he asked if I needed his help finding the facilities. I knew the area well and told him “no.” When I came back to the car, I opened the passenger door then stopped. A bag of chips was in the seat. “Wait a minute,” I thought. “I wasn’t eating any chips.” I glanced up and was shocked to see a man (fuzzy, blurry, not clear but definitely not my husband) sitting behind the steering wheel. He was speechless as he stared at me. I immediately began apologizing. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m visually impaired and thought this was our car!” I said it again as I backed away and closed the door. My husband was sitting in the next car watching the whole thing and unable to do anything about it. That vehicle, the same color and similar to ours, had not been in that parking spot when we pulled in.

“Well,” I told my husband when I got into our vehicle, “he’s got a story to tell for the rest of his life.” It was embarrassing but funny at the same time. Most of my VIP (visually impaired persons) friends have had similar experiences.

Recently, however, I had a blind moment that was not so funny.

I was helping serve the after-funeral meal of a dear neighbor and friend, and I was managing to recognize some people by their voices, height, and other clues I use to identify people. A young woman with long, dark hair came up to me as I was helping clear tables. She had already spoken to me in the kitchen, and at that time I wasn’t sure who she was but knew she knew me since she said, “Hi, Mrs. Pam.” After the meal, she was near the family, and I hugged her tightly, thinking I was hugging the daughter who had lost her father.

After a few words, however, she knew my mistake. “Mrs. Pam, I’m (name).” She is a close friend of the daughter, which is why she was there, and she was very understanding because she knows my situation, but still…it was embarrassing.

One of my many flaws is I am an extrovert to the extreme. I love people. I’m a hugger. (Sorry, germ phobes, it’s just an automatic reaction in many situations.) I always tell myself I’m going to change, that I will think before I speak and think before I hug, but somehow those tendencies overtake me. At my age, you’d think I would have figured it out, but obviously, I am still a work in progress.

I have countless other stories, and I guess despite the embarrassment, I have to laugh at myself. I did plenty of stupid things before vision loss, but the incidents have increased in number the past six years.

At the beginning of this post, I shared that our dog and I have a lot in common. No, he’s not blind. But he is extremely sociable. He loves people and loves other dogs. He’s excited when we take him to the kennel. When people come over, we have to restrain him at first until he calms down because he wants to be near them. As a matter of fact, he gets so excited about new people in the house, he shakes all over while his tail wags furiously.

He’s four years old, and we continue to try to train him to be calm and not want to jump up on people or bother them with begging to be petted. At least he doesn’t lick. He may never be trained completely.

I may not either. But I’m going to try. It’s the only way I can think of to avoid more embarrassing moments!

Cancer rears its ugly head–again.

March 5, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

As I write this, I have two cousins battling cancer. I have a good friend and neighbor in the hospital because of cancer. My daughter-in-law’s brother has been diagnosed with lymphoma. My niece has been battling cancer for over a year, and although she is cancer free, she has to continue her fight to keep it from coming back. A fellow church member was just diagnosed. All of these people, with the exception of my niece, are near my age. I guarantee we all know people much younger who have been diagnosed with this horrible disease.

So, with me being me, I did some research. According to the NIH records, I live in the heart of the area with the highest cancer mortality rates. Look it up. You’ll see most of the southern states plus Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, and Maine in the higher ranges. The highest? Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, Kentucky, and West Virginia. And maybe Maine if my color-distorted vision seeing a hugely magnified map is seeing correctly.

Why? Why these areas?

Is it genetics, with residents of these states going back for generations? Is it due to lifestyle? What we eat, whether we exercise or not, habits like tobacco use and drinking alcohol? Yes, sorry to disappoint, but research now shows that alcohol even consumed in moderation is a contributing factor to cancer. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Don’t take my word for it.

Is it because we did (and do) stupid things like sunbathe to get that golden tan without wearing sunscreen? I’m guilty. For years I spent time outdoors without sunscreen. Getting older and seeing the results of that bad choice plus having a precancerous squamous cell carcinoma removed from my nose was a wake-up call. A little late to gain some wisdom, but maybe not too late.

Let’s not forget about the warnings about eating processed foods, especially processed meat. Apparently, foods like bacon are a Group 1 carcinogen as well as deli meats and other foods we like.

I told my husband I didn’t think we Baby Boomers would live as long as our parents’ generation. He disagreed. He reminded me of how they ate foods fried in lard, ham, bacon, and other foods we are told are bad for us. True. But they didn’t grow up drinking soft drinks, eating bags and bags of potato chips, and as far as deli meat–well, bologna was a real treat, not a cheap food.

Their water was not as contaminated by chemicals. They grew their own food and got their water from wells that were not yet contaminated by ground water that contains harmful chemicals used in agriculture. Many ended up with heart disease in their older years, but medicines and surgeries prolonged their lives. My dad died three weeks before he would have turned 86. My mom died six weeks before she would have turned 94. Neither died because of cancer.

I honestly don’t know what the answers are. But if you’ve ever experienced chemo and other cancer treatments, you can tell the rest of us it is not a pleasant experience. You can tell us that cancer is always in the back of your mind.

But what is the purpose of this blog today? I don’t know. I guess it’s a way to express my dismay and my frustration. I wish I could fix it. I want to be more conscious of what I eat and lifestyle choices I make. I want to spread the word to others to make smarter choices. I want to encourage people, along with myself, to be smart.

I know President Trump addressing Congress last night is on a lot of people’s minds, and I get that. But you know what? However we feel about politics, there is little we can do. Yes, we can vote. Yes, we can share our views with our legislators. I have the privilege of living in a country in which I can express my viewpoints, and I feel I have an obligation to do so. But the truth is, my lone voice must be joined by many others to make any sort of a change. I can’t change anything on my own.

What, then, can I change? My lifestyle. My choices. True, genetics play a role. True, I can’t prevent everything. My vision loss has taught me that because there was nothing I could do to stop the condition other than see my doctor and have the eye injections and surgeries that served to delay the inevitable. But I’m trying to be smarter. Wear sunscreen. Swim only before 10:00 A.M. or after 2:00 P.M. Eat foods like blueberries, tomatoes, squash, and bell peppers which contain cancer-fighting nutrients. Watch my cholesterol. Eat heart-healthy foods to avoid heart disease.

Most people who see this blog won’t read it because…well, people just don’t have a lot of interest in blogs. Those who do read it will wonder why I wrote it and what business it is of mine. After all, can I really change anyone’s mindset about health issues? Probably not.

I can try, though. I can open the forum for discussion. I can donate to places like St. Jude and the American Cancer Society. I can try to educate others even though I’m not a health professional. What I am, by nature, is a teacher and a researcher. I want to share what I learn.

So I’ll raise a glass of FILTERED water and say “Cheers!” to those of you whose mindset is like mine. Let’s do what we can to end this horrible disease. And one more thing—

If you’re over 50, have you had a colonoscopy? This is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. If you have precancerous polyps, they are removed during the test. I have a friend who died because she never had a colonoscopy for screening purposes, and the cancer spread to her liver. She battled for about year and a half, if I remember correctly. She was only 62. As we know, that age doesn’t sound old anymore.

As always, if you took the time to read this entire blog, thank you. If it makes a difference in just one person’s life, my time is worth it.

Is Elvis stuff worth anything? Well, it depends.

February 20, 2025 by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

Over 15 years ago, I met one of Elvis’s girlfriends at a conference. Her name is June Juanico, and they dated in the 1950s before his Army service and before Priscilla. I purchased her book and found it to be interesting. I gave the book away when I lost the ability to read regular books, and I wonder how she is doing all these years later or even if she is still alive.

A family friend who was 14 years older than I (yes, I’m using correct English there instead of colloquial English, but has that rule changed?) was a huge Elvis fan. She kept a scrapbook with all kinds of celebrity photos, but she had more Elvis clippings and photos than any. She brought parts of that scrapbook over a year before she passed away. She knew I’d appreciate them, and she didn’t want her treasures going to someone who wouldn’t care.

I’ve had those pages all this time, but because I have to use a wearable headset to look at that sort of thing, I kept putting off going through them because I knew my eyes would be very tired. But this weather forced me to find something to do in the house, so I pulled them out and spent over an hour examining them.

The cool thing about this is she had the original clippings from the Memphis newspaper, and the Memphis newspaper seemed to have constant photos and articles about Elvis. People in other parts of the country wouldn’t have had those photos. Among the photos are a clipping of the family gathered around Elvis’s mother’s grave (with the tent above the burial site) at her funeral in 1958. I had never seen that before. Another photo is the original newspaper clipping of the Million Dollar Quartet–Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Carl Perkins–at Sun Studio. Elvis’s girlfriend at the time is in the photo. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, one day Elvis stopped by Sun Studio and somehow the other three ended up being there. It was a historic moment in music, and a newspaper reporter got to the studio to take the photograph. Look it up online. It has been duplicated in posters, books, and blogs like mine. I couldn’t believe it when I picked it up. An original clipping, not a copy.

How cool.

And those two are just the beginning. As I went through them, I could imagine the 14-year-old devouring the teen magazines and newspapers as she selected which ones to keep in her special scrapbook. I had those celebrity scrapbooks. At that age, I was basically an only child because my brother was gone from home. We lived in a neighborhood with only older people, so no one to hang out with. I was skinny, awkward, wore thick glasses, and escaped my reality by reading books and teen magazines. My celebrity crushes were Kurt Russell, Bobby Sherman, David Soul, Michael Cole, and…no, not Elvis…Lee Majors. Well, the Lee Majors in “The Big Valley,” so maybe it’s more appropriate to say Heath Barkley. By the way, I love that name Heath. But I couldn’t bring myself to name my sons after a TV character. I did know a couple who named their children Rhett and Scarlett. Really.

I think I’ll hang on to those photos and clippings for quite a while. It will be fun to go down memory lane remembering those iconic figures of the past while at the same time remembering my friend. Fourteen years separated us, but she was a family friend who spent a lot of time with my mom and me. She was a part of my growing up years, as much or more than some of my relatives.

Yesterday Barry was watching a “Pawn Stars” episode, and a woman was trying to sell something that belonged to Frank Sinatra. She was disappointed the item wasn’t as valuable as she thought it it should be. But they explained that because there are no longer many Frank Sinatra fans, the memorabilia has gone down in value.

That may happen with Elvis memorabilia, but for me, the scrapbook items are worth a great deal. Maybe not financially but emotionally. I will close with a line that only those familiar with Elvis will get, and forgive the corniness. It’s true.

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind.

Sweet memories.