This photo has absolutely nothing to do with my post, but they’re just too cute, aren’t they? Yes, I’m being a proud Gigi. We grandparents are allowed to brag on our grandchildren, so I’m taking liberties!
But maybe this photo is applicable to my topic after all. Bear with me until the end of the blog, and I will explain.
With the wisdom I’ve gained over the years, I have come to understand that our greatest barrier to coping and healing when we go through hard times is our unwillingness or inability to accept the situation. We want to fix it or control it or deny it. Instead of acknowledging it and figuring out a way to move forward, we have a tendency to focus on what we can do to get rid of the adversity.
Here’s the deal. Many times we focus on changing others or changing our state when what we should be focusing on is changing our attitude. We must change ourselves.
I am not going to discuss bad relationships or living situations of which I have no knowledge or experience. But possibly the points I make about other situations can apply to those. As always, I do not claim to be an expert on any of this, and anyone with serious problems should contact a professional.
Years ago, a friend of mine was in an accident, and she ended up paralyzed. When I visited her in the rehab facility, she told me, “I’m going to walk out of this place.” She had a fighting spirit and was convinced she would be healed.
An admirable attitude in our culture, but she was not healed. She has spent the past 30 plus years in a wheelchair.
She eventually accepted her situation and learned to do many thing’s for herself. She was able to drive using hand controls. She cooked and did some normal household things as well as she could. A widow who now lives alone, she is self-sufficient for the most part and handles each day with strength because she accepts her situation. It’s not easy, but it is her reality.
In my own journey of becoming disabled due to vision loss, I accepted my condition from the beginning. My loved ones were not so accepting. They were seeking cures or clinical trials or devices to make my vision come back or at least be better. I even had a stranger pray for me one time. I was at a fast food restaurant with a friend, and when I was paying for my meal, I explained to the woman I was sorry for being slow to do everything because I was visually impaired. Maybe I said legally blind, I don’t know. Either term is correct. While my friend and I were eating, the woman went by our table several times to clean other tables, and I sensed she kept looking our way. When we got up to leave, she stopped me and asked if she could pray for me. Embarrassed but not wanting to steal her joy, I agreed, and she held my hand and prayed for my healing.
I don’t have the heart to go back there and tell her that not only did my condition not get better but it has also gotten progressively worse.
I accept that. I just deal with it. My retina specialist told meI may get to the point I can only see light and dark, but I don’t live in fear of that. It may never happen, and if it does, it may be years from now, and I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it. I do, however, continue to do what I can while I can and appreciate each day because today is all any of us have.
I have completed my book Living Fully with Vision Loss and am anticipating a release date within a few weeks. This book deals more with the lifestyle changes and emotional and mental states of those new to vision loss and their support system. It is for everyone, though, as I continue to educate others and advocate for the visually impaired community.
Some of the chapter titles are “First Steps,” “The Age of Technology,” “A Life without Limitations,” and “Our Support System.” There are 12 chapters, approximately 20,000 words (which is very short), and a resource guide. It will be available as an ebook and a large-print paperback. I am working on having it published as an audiobook as well.
In the first chapter, I make the point acceptance is the most important first step. I know of too many who are newly diagnosed who are seeing multiple doctors and looking for clinical trials. That’s okay, but the truth is even if they find a clinical trial for which they qualify, it may take years to see any benefit if at all. I admit I’ve applied for a couple of clinical trials but have been rejected, probably because my condition is too advanced.
By the way, if you’re new to my blog and confused about how I can write a blog and books as a legally blind person, be sure to buy the book when it is released or go to my Journey to Sight YouTube channel where I have videos demonstrating how it’s done.
Back to my topic. Acceptance is the first step in healing. Not the healing we think of. Accepting a physical disability or a broken relationship or the loss of a loved one doesn’t mean you’ve given up. It just means you are facing it and you’re going to handle it. You’re going to persevere despite it. It won’t be easy. It won’t be fun. But if you keep at it, it will happen.
When I pray for others going through health crises, I pray for their comfort and healing but also peace and acceptance. I pray they have a calm spirit while they endure the treatments or the knowledge they have a terminal illness. I pray for their strength to get through each day.
When I was praying for a new treatment for my vision loss or at least for my vision not to get worse, I cried when I prayed. How desperately I wanted to see normally again. How desperately I wanted my independence back (translated: the ability to drive). How badly I wanted to read to my granddaughters, to see my loved ones’ faces, to recognize people in the community when I was out and about.
It wasn’t until I changed my prayer to ask for help in accepting my situation and learning about how to cope with it that my mental state improved. And you know what? That happened. I have learned so much, and I am continuing to learn. I was paralyzed in my own way in a state of limbo until I changed my attitude. These days, I have an attitude of gratitude because I’m grateful for all the good things in my life.
As for the two girls in the photo, they accept me as I am. They know Gigi can’t read to them, so they’re okay with my Meta glasses reading to them, although they have to get very close to the frames to hear it. Sometimes when we’re playing, one of them will say, “Gigi, are your eyes working?” which is their way of asking if I can see what is going on. And I can see well enough to play with them, cook for them, “watch” Disney with them, and play with them.
They accept me for who I am. I have to do the same.
Life As I know it 