The wisdom gained with age

When I was growing up, I had three dreams that lasted well into adulthood: I wanted a dog (my parents wouldn’t allow me to have one), I wanted to own a ranch someday, and I wanted to be a writer.

Pretty simple, right? I didn’t have dreams of being a famous model or actress (well, I did for a short time like a lot of girls in middle school), and no doubt my dream of owning a ranch someday was totally unrealistic due to the fact my family did not own land nor did we own horses, but that didn’t change the fact that I loved the idea of it. No wonder I loved Janet Dailey’s Calder series.

In adulthood, our family has had two dogs, sweet Sable and our current dog Draco (the shelter had already given him that name and when we got him at seven months old, that’s what he responded to), and my joke is that with him I got a horse-dog because of his size. He’ll be five next month. All 70 pounds of him.

I never got the ranch, nor did I even spend time at a dude ranch at any point, something I regret. I don’t want to go now because I don’t want to chance getting hurt on a horse, but I loved the opportunities I had of riding horses belonging to friends or paying to ride at public stables.

As for the writing…well, you see how that is playing out. Not a best-selling author and not huge sales, but with the technology we have today, I am able to continue that passion. I love to write, whether fiction or non-fiction. And while I would love to make some money at it, I’m okay with just doing it because it’s something I love to do.

It’s like you sports people, those of you who grew up playing sports. Maybe you aspired to be good enough to get a scholarship to college or even to go straight from high school to a professional baseball team, but the high number of would-be professional athletes is tiny compared to the number of college athletes. Some who aspire to greatness achieve it. Others indulge in their love of sports by coaching or being passionate fans.

We all pursue what interests us.

There aren’t many perks to being “a certain age,” but one perk, in my opinion, is being able to look back on my life and realize that it’s okay to have achieved just one of those three childhood dreams–the dog thing. Have I mentioned I love dogs? And our oldest son is a dog magnet. They sense his attitude toward them.

But that ranch dream…unless I could have been wealthy enough to pay lots of hired hands, it would have been a grueling seven-days-a-week obligation. No rips to the beach. No trips anywhere. The vet bills, the reality of mucking out stalls and cleaning hooves and the ongoing expense…I’m glad that dream was never realized.

I know I’ll never be a best-selling author for many reasons, but if just a few people read what I write and enjoy it, I’m good with that. I always have story ideas spinning in my mind, so maybe one day I’ll be able to achieve some real success in that endeavor. To me, there are no negatives about writing. I love the whole process, including re-writing and editing and meeting deadlines for the publisher.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe your childhood dreams dissipated like the early morning fog as the sun comes up, and maybe you’ve found other ways to pursue your interests. And for the few who achieved their childhood dreams, I have this question: Was it what you had hoped it would be?

You may be wondering about the horse in the picture. This is the photo for my Facebook profile, and it was taken in July of 2024 when another couple and my husband and I did a quick trip to Lexington, Kentucky, where we toured a racehorse breeding farm. Claiborne Farms in Paris, Kentucky. The guided tour was about an hour long, and it was fascinating.

I fed a peppermint to two of the horses. This particular horse is worth–brace yourself–$85 million. That’s right, $85 million. The other horse? A mere $11 million. I doubt the quarter horses I planned to have on my dream ranch would have been worth anything close to that. And no matter how you feel about horse racing, you have to admit those animals are beautiful.

Wisdom gained as we age is a blessing. It helps us to appreciate what we have instead of what we don’t. It helps us to accept compromise and change. And it gives the ability to have peace and acceptance of whatever our situation may be, not to mention the joy we have in enjoying the adjusted versions of our goals and dreams.

Kentucky Derby weekend–anyone planning to try a Kentucky Hot Brown?

July 2024 at Claiborne Farm in Paris, Kentucky. I am feeding a peppermint to a retired race horse worth…wait for it…$85 million.

That’s right, $85 million. Just ten minutes prior to this I had fed a peppermint to his grandson worth $11 million.

I am not a proponent of the gambling involved with horse racing, but I do love the drama of the Derby, the build-up of talking about the horses, the two-minute race that keeps you on edge wondering if the horse you think will win actually does. And I love horses.

Last summer, some friends called to see if we wanted to make a quick trip to Lexington, Kentucky, with a stop at Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace and childhood home in Hodgenville, Kentucky. It was a great trip, one of those unexpected surprises when you really have no particular expectations and end up having a great time.

Claiborne Farm is a breeding farm and is the location of Secretariat’s grave. When a race horse’s career is over at a young age, he is then used for breeding. Our tour group was small with an in-person guide instead of the usual audio or iPad device, and we were able to ask questions as we walked from barn to barn. The walk was an easy one, nothing long or strenuous, and for a gal like me who longed to live on a ranch even into adulthood, it was extra special.

I learned that normally only three parts of the horse are buried–the head, the heart, and the hooves. In Secretariat’s case, though, the entire body was buried. We had seen the movie, but hearing about the famous racehorse prompted us to watch the movie again after we returned home and to pull up all three of his races that were a part of the Triple Crown on YouTube.

We also went to the Kentucky Horse Park where we saw more horses along with demonstrations, but the highlight for me was seeing the skeleton of Lexington, the horse on which Geraldine Brooks’s book Horse is based. Everyone knows that is my current favorite book. Like some of Lisa Wingate’s books, I listen to it at least once a year. I have blogged about it before, so go back to my previous blogs and look for a photo of Barry and me standing in front of a horse skeleton.

I told our friends that we would get together for the Derby in May 2025. I would make Kentucky Hot Browns, and we’d watch the race together. No, no large hats and no mint juleps and no wagering, but we’re going to do it. I’ve never made a Kentucky Hot Brown before, so this could be interesting.

And I’m going to share something about me. I seem to have an uncanny ability to pick the winners. My pics are often against what the odds makers say. No, I’m not going to post my picks so you can bet on a horse I think will win. But I want to see if my streak holds out. I don’t study the horses in advance. I just watch the preliminary information then watch each horse as the jockey rides it to the starting gate. That’s when I make my decision.

Will I be right this year? I’ll find out on Saturday. And even if I’m wrong, it will be a fun time with friends as we relive our fun trip and make new memories. You can’t beat that.