Tag: book-reviews

“Searching for Hope in the Silence”–a mother’s journey through loss

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

Eleven. That’s the number of family and friends of mine who have lost a child. People in my own extended family. My friends. Not acquaintances, not co-workers. My friends. They, along with the fathers of their children, belong to a fraternity no parent wants to join.

That number doesn’t include those who have known the heartache of miscarriage.

That number does not include my friends who have lost a grandchild.

It does include the author of the book Searching for Hope in the Silence, Jenna Stoker Wright. In 1977, she and her husband lost their first child and only daughter to cancer. This book chronicles their short journey of learning about their daughter’s illness, their experiences at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, and her emotional roller coaster of hope then grief and anger. She is honest about their experiences and honest about her emotions. I would think anyone who has lost a child can relate.

Part two of the book shares her relationship with her mother. A self-proclaimed “Daddy’s girl” (to which I can relate as I was very much a Daddy’s girl), her honesty shines once more in her account of the relationship she and her mother shared and the experiences of her mother’s life that impacted her. Like me, she loved her mother, but also like me, it was her father’s approval she craved and whose influence guided her. But also like me, she can look back now with fresh eyes and understand the positive examples and influence of her mom who gave up a beloved career in nursing to live in a small town and raise their only child.

The third part of the book describes the joy brought to them by their son, born about two years after their daughter. Having another child was not an easy decision since they feared the same fate would befall future children, but doctors reassured them it was highly unlikely. The result was a healthy baby boy who grew to be an intelligent, successful man. A line from this section of the book I am paraphrasing was that eventually the moments of happiness and joy outnumbered the moments of sorrow. The ache of loss, however, never went away and remains with her today.

One of my friends, whose granddaughter was killed in a tragic accident at a young age, once told me that you never get over grief. You just learn to live with it.

This book did make me cry, but it also made me smile. A person of a strong Christian faith, Jenna doesn’t sugarcoat her feelings during the most difficult days. She does, however, share how her faith is what sustained her then and what continues to sustain her now.

Would I recommend this book to someone else who has lost a child? Well, that depends on the person. If you are the kind of person who finds some amount of solace in talking with or reading about others who have experienced something similar to your own journey, I most definitely do. If you are the kind of person who chooses to block all memories of your ordeal, I don’t.

But I do recommend it to everyone else. Too many times we are upset about things that, in the long run, really don’t matter. Reading a book like this can help us be more grounded and put life into a better perspective. Reading a book like this gives a connection to the author and others like her so we are able to sympathize and help in more productive ways.

When her daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, the survival rate was only 10%. Today, the survival rate of childhood leukemia with five-year survival rates of over 90% and for infants with acute leukemia, more than 60%.

When Danny Thomas established St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, his mission was to eradicate childhood cancer. Thanks to their research and the research of other organizations, that mission is ongoing and showing promise of success. Someone once asked me if the Catholic Church operates St. Jude’s. The answer is “no.” Danny Thomas was a Catholic, and St. Jude is the patron saint of desperate situations and lost causes, symbolizing hope and perseverance in challenging times.

This book does the same.

It is available on Amazon as a paperback and an ebook. If you read it, I hope you appreciate it as much as I do.

A review of Lisa Marie Presley’s memoir

by Pam Harris, "blind" writer

I copied this photo from images on the Internet. When I look at it, I see an innocent young girl who had no idea of the life ahead of her. I see what appears to be a loving family. I see a girl who should have everything she wants in life and happiness as a result.

But Lisa’s recently published memoir depicts anything but happiness.

Lisa began writing her memoir but struggled to put it together. About a month before she passed away, she asked her oldest child, Riley Keogh, to help her write it, thereby giving her access to Lisa’s recordings as she described her life, her relationships, her emotional struggles, and her addictions. Because she died before the book was completed, Riley took it upon herself to fill in the gaps and have it published.

The audiobook is structured with Lisa’s actual voice recording at the beginning of each chapter. Julia Roberts reads the part of the book from Lisa’s perspective. Riley reads her own writing. Each chapter contains all three perspectives.

It is obvious that Lisa loved her father and her children more than anyone else in her life. Elvis spoiled her and gave her total freedom at Graceland, and that freedom plus his strong love for her made him the favorite parent. When you find out what happened to her while under Priscilla’s care, it is easy to understand why she loved him the best.

She is open about her own insecurities. She hated fame and was an introvert. She felt unattractive, untalented, and unloved after her father died. Her involvement with scientology had a positive impact on her life, but it didn’t last. Her first husband, Danny Keogh, was the one constant in her adult life despite their divorce and her marriages to Michael Jackson, Nicholas Cage, and Michael Lockwood.

Riley talks about her brother Ben–how he was Lisa’s favorite, how the two had a special connection like Elvis did with his mother, how Ben took his own life. Riley describes how loving Lisa was as a mother, but she is honest about Lisa’s emotional struggles and addictions.

It’s obvious from the book that Lisa never got over losing her father at the age of nine. She carried that grief with her until she died, and I wonder about that. Today is the anniversary of my own father’s death 13 years ago, but I don’t grieve. I was very much a daddy’s girl myself, but I cherish the memories of times with my dad and rejoice that his sufferings have ended. I believe he is in a better place, and I believe I’ll see him again.

Lisa didn’t have that faith. Nor did she have a normal family life.

I often think people without a purpose are the most unhappy people on earth. They have all the money they. need and no reason to work for anything, so that leaves too much time and money so they become bored, indulge their every desire, and fall into unhealthy lifestyles and habits. This book is proof of my belief.

Riley provides a good balance to Lisa’s perspective, and the book shows the good, the bad, and the ugly of their lives.

The book is worth the read. There is some strong language in it, which I don’t appreciate because I’m offended by it, but I realize that for many in the world these days, that’s the normal way of talking. I don’t like it, but my desire to read the book overcame my dislike. If strong language bothers you to the point you don’t want to read anything containing it, don’t read it.

I won’t read it again. Once was enough. But I’m that way with most books.

The title of the book is From Here to the Great Unknown, words taken from the gospel song Elvis recorded “Where No One Stands Alone.” Despite his many weaknesses and arrested development, Elvis loved gospel music above all others. He found solace in it for his own struggles.

Lisa, it seems, found no solace anywhere.