How I’ve Learned Not to Worry…Much

I love this photo of my parents taken at Reelfoot Lake many years ago. Dad passed away in 2012 and Mom in 2021. She lived to be almost 94, and while I respect her memory and always loved (love)her, she had a very human weakness that consumed her. That weakness was worry.

She didn’t see it that way. She was a Christian who prayed regularly, attended church as long as she was able, and read her Bible daily.

But she lived in fear and worry. Fear of someone breaking into the house, constant worry about her children and grandchildren, fear of doing many things, and a worry that caused her to try to control the lives of her loved ones.

For years, I was critical of her tendency to worry without realizing I was doing the same thing at times. I worried about things going on with my job, about my children, about the future.

Thankfully, I had an awakening of sorts. I don’t know what prompted it, but I began to learn to let go. I learned to pray about my concerns then forgot them. The only person I could control was me. I couldn’t control what my co-workers did, what my family members did, or my declining vision.

Mom always worried when my children were flying somewhere and wouldn’t rest until “they have their feet on the ground.” She worried anytime any of us were traveling on the interstate. She worried about our souls and salvation. She worried about choices her children and grandchildren were making.

I understand those concerns. But concern is one thing. All-consuming worry is another.

Yes, I have concerns at times, and my loved ones are always in my heart. But I don’t worry about them. Why? I can’t control their health, their choices, their actions, nor their attitudes. All I can control is me, and even with me there are things I can’t control.

I can control my health and safety to the best of my ability, but even I have limits in how much I can control my own life.

That’s not to say I don’t have my moments. When loved ones have serious illnesses, sure, I worry. If they are experiencing a crisis or serious problem, sure, I worry. But like I said, I pray about it and try to let it go.

We sometimes spend too much time focusing on choices or mistakes of the past and fears of what the future holds, and doing so robs us of joy in the present. What a shame to live a life like that.

I don’t think Mom would mind me using her as an example. If she were alive, she’d be denying it. “I don’t worry,” she used to say. “I’m just cautious.” Or “I can see things you all can’t.”

But if her faith in what follows death was correct, she knows better now. She knows she wasted days and nights living in fear and worry about things she could not control. So I think she’d want to tell us all not to follow her example.

I don’t worry…much. And life is much better.