Blog

This photo was taken at Currituck, between Duck and Corolla, in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It’s on the sound side, not on the Atlantic, but it is beautiful nonetheless.

Duck is the setting of my most recent book, a novella entitled Surf Song Inn, one novella of four in Coastal Promises.

If you’ve read any of my books, you know I write clean fiction. You know that my adult books all have romance elements. This novella is no different.

What is different is how the idea came to be. I was inspired to write Aimee when I visited the oldest standing schoolhouse in Arizona. The inspiration for Can’t Help Falling in Love, a novella in Smoky Mountain Brides, came from my publisher, who told me she wanted me to write a romance with the main character being a vet who treated the horses at Graceland. The inspiration for this novella came from falling in love with The Outer Banks in 2018 when I visited it for the first time.

When a group of writer friends and I decided to write novellas set on different islands, I knew mine would be set in the OBX (Outer Banks). But what would my story be? Who would be my characters? What kind of romance could I write in only 20,000 words?

After thinking about it, I decided on a country music singer escaping her hectic life for a brief respite in the OBX. The blurb is:

Dreams don’t always work out as imagined, a fact country music singer Rachelle has learned all too well. Burned out by the demands of her singing career, she flees from Nashville to a quaint inn in the Outer Banks of North Carolina where she hopes to find peace and clarity. Registering under her real name of Holly Bellamy and sporting a new hair color and style to disguise her true identity, she revels in being just a “regular person.” When she and the inn’s owner begin to develop feelings for each other, however, her life takes a turn she never expected.

Like the sound of it? Then be sure to go to Amazon and search for Coastal Promises. Read the blurbs for the other three novellas. Buy the e-book for $4.99 or the paperback for $14.99.

Then find a quiet spot with your favorite snack nearby, and escape to an island. Let the waves carry your stress away as you enjoy light romance set in very romantic locales.

I thank you in advance if you purchase the book and hope that you enjoy it. And on a side note–no, dreams don’t always work out the way we expected, but that doesn’t mean we should stop dreaming.

Dream on.

Today I welcome my cousin, Cyndy Haines, who recently published her first cookbook, to my blog! Cyndy, what prompted you to write a cookbook?

My children. They were always calling for recipes, and my boyfriend suggested I write a cookbook. The idea grew, especially after I found out that a co-worker’s sister, who was struggling with personal issues, wrote and self-published a cookbook for their family and friends. She used a local printing company and never intended to make it available to the public. I manage nine antique booths in an antiques mall, and one of the ladies who has a booth there was going through chemo treatments, and she wrote a cookbook while sitting in the hospital going through her treatments. I saw you were struggling with vision problems yet still writing and editing. So the three of you inspired me to accomplish this goal. If you three could overcome adversity to fulfill a dream, then I could too.

 Thank you for saying I was an inspiration to you. I am just glad I was able to be a small part of this process for you. Tell us, how did you choose the recipes?

Most of the recipes are old family recipes and recipes fro friends with no real known origin. For example, I have several of your mom’s recipes, and I have Mom’s, my daughter’s, my son’s, and more. I selected my favorites and my children’s favorites, because the original intent was a cookbook for them. Then you told me about Amazon publishing, and I tbought, “Why not?”

 Are any of them your own creation?

Yes, several of the meat dishes. Some of the recipes were modified from the original by me, but I think a lot of recipes are like that.

 What are some of your favorite recipes in it?

I love Kyle’s brownies, Gwyn’s cabbage casserole, and my baked pork tenderloin. I also love my caramel cake icing recipe and barbecued meatballs.

 Just hearing those food names makes me hungry! know you self-published the book through Amazon. What are some things you learned that others would need to know before self-publishing with them? It was very challenging. The first thing I learned is that formatting is the real key to a perfect book. For instance, when I I typed recipes in Word, I have hit enter several times. Well, that made things not line up correctly. I called a local printer for help. His charge was very small, and he helped solve the problem. You can find the steps for self-publishing with Amazon, and they are very easy to follow. However, be sure the formatting is correct, that you have allowed room for the gutter (the middle of the book), and that you have created your cover. They do have standard covers you can choose from, which is what I did because of copyright issues with the one I had intended to use. But once you go through the process, it’s easy.

Any plans for a future cookbook?

Yes, my next cookbook is already underway. The focus of this one is make-ahead meals that can be prepared and frozen then thawed and cooked when needed. It will also have more crockpot meals.

Where can readers purchase your cookbook on Amazon?

https://www.amazon.com/Cyndys-Antiques-Recipes-Cyndy-Haines/dp/1099904463

Thanks, Cyndy, for taking the time to answer my questions. I’m looking forward to trying out some of the recipes soon!

 

 

 

Maybe you’ve seen the movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, two men supposedly dying who decide to travel the globe and do all the things they ever wanted to do. They do all kinds of crazy things, live extravagantly (thanks to Jack Nicholson’s character’s wealth), and realize that life without loved ones is hollow. They return home and––spoiler alert––one of them dies, the other one lives many years longer.

An unrealistic movie in many ways, it still holds a grain of truth. We all have things we want to do, but we keep putting them off, saying we’ll do them when retire or “when I have time.”

I get it. Life is busy and doing what we have to do gets in the way of what we want to do. While raising children, your life is not your own as you attend all those ballgames, band performances, gymnastics lessons, plays, church activities, and all the things that we do for our children. No doubt the needs of our families must come first.

But I wonder why we make excuses for not doing some things that we want to do now instead of putting it off. Nothing extravagant, like in the movie. Simple things. Affordable things. Things that require not much more than some of our time.

I was guilty of putting things off until retirement. Oh, I did a few things. I did some painting classes. I took some short trips to places I always wanted to see. And, oh, I did write a few books. But I spent fifteen years wanting to do the St. Jude Half-Marathon in Memphis before I actually did it, thinking I didn’t have enough time to train. I finally was on the Elvis Quiz Show on Elvis Radio (pictured above) a year after I retired. I could have done that before then. So why didn’t I?

Because I made excuses.

We have no guarantees in life. We are not promised tomorrow, and I can’t count the number of people I have known who retired and within weeks were dealing with life-changing illnesses.

My advice, then, is don’t put it off. If it’s simply a matter of rescheduling your time or saving on the side for a special trip, do those things while you have the ability to do so. If fear is holding you back (afraid to apply for that dream job, afraid to fly to someplace you really want to go, afraid of being out of your comfort zone), seek professional help or even the help of friends. Do what you can to live a rich life, a life that doesn’t put off things until it is too late.

I would never suggest that your wants and needs should come before those of your family. I am merely suggesting that maybe it is time for you to start checking off those bucket list items before you’re too old to do them.

As for me, I still have a long list of things I want to do. Number one was the half-marathon. Check. Number two was the Elvis Quiz Show. Check.

Number 3? Be an extra in a movie. Guess I need to check those posts with the Tennessee or Memphis film commissions…

 

Last fall, some writer friends and I discussed how much fun it would be to write four short novellas, all with a beach theme, all contemporary romances. A novella is simply a short novel, usually no more than 25,000 words, and it is a bit harder to write than a full-length novel. You have to write “tight,” leaving out unnecessary descriptions, thoughts, and other things that might hinder the story from being told in as few words as possible.

The picture you see is the result. The book is now available for pre-order on Amazon for only $4.99 for the e-book. Pre-order means order it now, and when it comes out, it will be delivered automatically to your device.

If you have followed my blog or looked at my Pam Harris, author, Facebook page, you know that I fell in love with th Outer Banks of North Carolina in 2018. My beach experiences in California and Florida have all been wonderful, but there was something special about the Outer Banks that I can’t describe or explain. So it was natural that I set my book there, in a little community called Duck. The inn in my story is not real, nothing more than a creation of my imagination, but most places mentioned, even the Walmart, are actual sites.

This book is clean fiction, so if you’re looking for the racy stuff, look elsewhere.  The characters in the four novellas are not linked in any way, so you’re not reading the stories of four friends or four sisters or even cousins. (Hmm, Each novella stands on its own, so you can read one entire book in a short time.

Here’s the blurb for my story:

Surf Song

Dreams don’t always work out as imagined, a fact country music singer Rachelle has learned all too well. Burned out by the demands of her singing career, she flees from Nashville to a quaint inn in the Outer Banks of North Carolina where she hopes to find peace and clarity. Registering under her real name of Holly Bellamy and sporting a new hair color and style to disguise her true identity, she revels in being just a “regular person.” When she and the inn’s owner begin to develop feelings for each other, however, her life takes a turn she never expected.

The other novellas feature an artist and gallery owner on St. Simons Island, Georgia, a dolphin cruise owner on Tybee Island, Georgia, and a wedding venue owner on Pawley’s Island, South Carolina (a Southern Breeze novella).

Interested? Here’s the link.

I love languages. I think it began with my love of reading in elementary school, but it continues to this day. I loved English in school, easiest subject for me.  Two years of Latin in high school, which I loved. (I was in the minority. Someone wrote in my Latin 2 book: “Latin is a dead language. It killed the Romans, and now it’s killing me.”)  I majored in Spanish and minored in French in college.

You get the idea.

It is no surprise, then, that regional differences in English are interesting to me. Why do people from the North say “sneakers” and most people in the South say “tennis shoes?” Why do Southerners in rural areas say “supper” and city-dwellers say “dinner?” Or does it vary by family?

Writers need to understand these differences, which is why I always set books in regions with which I am most familiar. I would never set a book in New York, for instance, because I don’t know the area, don’t know the idioms and attitudes, don’t know the culture at all. I stick to books set in the South and West, the areas in which I’ve lived. Even doing that, I’ve made mistakes.

For years, well into adulthood and in spite of all my language studies, I called the stuff you see in the picture “rod iron.” It wasn’t until after my first book was published that ar reader pointed out to me that the correct term is “wrought iron.” She was right. “Rod iron” is a material used to cut nails (the kind used in construction, not the ones on your fingers). “Wrought iron” is the decorative stuff.

My husband makes fun of me for saying “loaf bread” in stead of “loaf of bread.” That’s the way my parents always said it, as in “I’ve got to buy some more loaf bread.”

In Arizona, where I spent my childhood years, my friends and I said “you guys” for the plural even when talking to a group of females. People out there drink soda. People in the South drink Cokes, even if you’re buying Dr. Pepper. It’s all Coke. in the North, I think it’s “pop.” Our daughter-in-law, who is from a few hours north of us, gets a kick out of us having our picture “made” instead of “taken.” And let’s not forget a phrase every Southerner understands only too well–fixing to. “Hey, Johnny, have you done your homework yet?” “No, Mom, but I’m fixing to.” Important side note: fixing is ALWAYS pronounced fixin’ in this situation.

I’m sure people who have studied language origins and trends could explain all of this and give us a very detailed explanation as to how various cultural influences  affect our words and accents. As much as language interests me, however, I’m not going to do extensive research on it.

But I notice. I noticed when our waitress in a Cracker Barrel in Ohio called us “you’uns.” I notice when my mother eats dinner instead of lunch. I think dinner is a big midday meal and lunch is a light meal for her. I notice when I’m reading a book set in the South and it is obvious to me from the dialogue that the author of the book is not from the our region and has no idea how we talk.

Maybe this has been food for thought for you writers and even for those who aren’t. The words we use and the way we say them identify our heritage and upbringing as much as or more than anything else.

I’d love to know some expressions that are common to your area, so please comment on my “Pam Harris, author” Facebook page. I’ll look forward to reading them. Let’s celebrate our differences!

 

 

 

 

Okay, I confess. I left out a very important word in my blog title. The word is…healthy.

I left it out because most people automatically think “healthy” means “not good.”

I disagree. Over the years, I’ve experimented, adapted, succeeded at times, and failed at times to discover flavorful meals that are healthy, satisfying, quick, and cost-effective.

Take the crumbles in the picture, for example. I use them in spaghetti sauces, “beef” and bean burritos, homemade soup (taco soup and vegetable soup), stuffed peppers, and more. The texture is better, finer, than ground turkey, and if you don’t tell anyone the crumbles are vegetables instead of meat, they’ll likely never know. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s likely not enough of a difference to matter to them. The crumbles are already cooked, so all you have to do is add them to whatever you’re cooking, which is a huge time saver.

Another great time saver with some variety? Rotisserie chicken. I buy the ones at Walmart that have been chilled (well, go ahead and buy the fresh if you’re using it that day), and I use the meat in chicken tacos, chicken burritos, chicken chimichangas (will explain in a moment), homemade soup, barbecue chicken sandwiches, and in salads. You can have a meal ready in fifteen minutes with a rotisserie chicken.

Which brings me to a recipe I found years ago in Southern Living magazine. I no longer have that edition, and my memory may fail me on exact amounts, but here is their recipe and the way I now make it (keep in mind you must use a rotisserie chicken, not cook your own chicken. The flavor won’t be as good.)

Easy chicken chimichangas

6 large taco size flour tortillas or burrito size flour tortillas

1 rotisserie chicken, traditional or lemon pepper or farlic

1/4 onion, finely chopped (optional)

1/2 cup canned whole kernel corn, drained

1/2 cup black beans, rinsed and drained

1/4 cup salsa verde

1/2 cup shredded cheese (optional, but sharp cheddar or taco cheese works best)

Directions:

Remove skin from chicken and pull meat off, being careful to remove all bones.  Pull chicken pieces into shreds and chunks with your fingers. If using a chilled chicken, place in microwave and heat for one or two minutes, just enough to cut the chill from the chicken. Add other ingredients and stir well. Place mixture in each tortilla and fold burrito-style, securing with toothpicks. In a large skillet on medium high heat, pour 1/4 cup of canola oil. Place burritos in skillet, cook approximately three to four minutes per side, using tongs to turn over. Be careful to avoid burning, tortilla should be crisp and brown but not burned. Remove from skillet and serve immediately.

I always make homemade salsa and sometimes guacamole to go along with it.

Don’t want to fry them, want burritos instead? Place all six in a pan that has been coated with cooking spray. Top with cheese, place in a 350 degree oven, and bake until cheese is melted.

When I make these for my husband and me, I always have too much chicken mixture because I only need to make two chimichangas instead of six. I freeze the leftover mixture and use it later in taco soup.

Here’s my taco soup recipe:

1 large can tomato juice

1 pkg. ranch dressing dip mix (brand doesn’t matter)

1 pkg. taco seasoning (I usually use Taco Bell)

1 pound of browned, drained ground beef OR 1/2 bag of the crumbles pictured above

1/2 small onion, finely chopped (optional)

1 large can green chiles (NOT jalapeños unless you like that sort of thing)

1 can rinsed and drained black beans

1 can whole kernel corn

Place everything in a large pot, bring to a boil then reduce heat and cook on medium to medium low heat for fifteen minutes. Another option is to place all ingredients in a crockpot and cook on low for a couple of hours.

NOTE: My son likes it spicier, so he uses two packages of fiesta ranch dip mix and two packages of taco seasoning. A little too spicy and too much sodium for me!

If you’re using the leftover chicken mixture described above, just the juice, ranch and taco seasoning mix, and the chicken mixture is all you need.

For less sodium in these recipes, look for the no salt added corn and beans or use fresh or frozen instead of the canned.

Happy cooking!

 

 

 

You probably don’t know who the little boy is in this sketch. I’ll reveal it at the end of this blog.

But you can tell he’s poor. The uncombed hair, the sad look, the shirt. He faced discrimination while growing up, was ridiculed, literally lived “on the wrong side of the tracks.”

As humans, we have a tendency to be judgmental. Whether we are rich, poor, or middle class, we judge others without knowing their stories, without acknowledging that they may be walking a different path.

I was raised in the middle class, so I have no idea what it’s like to go to bed hungry or not to have a place to live. As a white woman, I have no idea what it’s like to be a member of a minority. As a college graduate, I have no idea what it’s like to lack the education to find a better job. As an American, I have no idea what it’s like to live in a country that is so unsafe that I would walk miles and miles just to get me and my family to a safer place.

There is no doubt that people make their own choices in life. I can cite at least two instances I know personally of two men who overcame their backgrounds and achieved success, two within my own expanded family circle. They overcame with strong work ethics that exceeded their natural-born talents. They are success stories.

Whoa, let me back up. I just wrote that people make their own choices in life. True yet not true. Young children don’t make their choices. Illness, accidents, and other obstacles sometimes make choices for us. As a former teacher, I do know that intelligence levels cover the spectrum, and some people just don’t have the intelligence to earn a decent living in our non-manufacturing society, as harsh as that sounds. Additionally, some people find it more difficult than others to resist the temptations of alcohol and drugs.

Don’t misunderstand me. Right is right, and wrong is wrong. We don’t need to make excuses for our behavior or the behavior of others. Just because you are poor doesn’t give you the right to steal. Just because you are rich doesn’t give you the right to defraud others for even greater financial gain. No circumstance can justify illegal activities.

Yet if anyone as described above repents, tries to make things right, and changes his or her ways, I think we should accept it and let the past be the past.

What a better place this world would be if we’d help instead of condemn, be patient instead of becoming angry, and treat others the way we’d like to be treated. Try to be more understanding while still not accepting wrong. Show compassion but don’t condone.

I sketched the above picture several years ago from a photograph in a book. That poor little boy grew up to be rich, but he never forgot what it was like to be poor. He made numerous mistakes in his adult life, and I would never condone some of his behaviors. But this poem and song as performed by him express the essence of my blog today.

 

 

On Dec. 1, 2018, I jogged/walked 13.1 miles at the St. Jude Marathon fund-raising event in Memphis. I recorded this on Riverside Drive as I was approaching mile marker 4. I had never done a half-marathon, not even a 5K, but I’d always been a fitness walker, and completing the half-marathon had been on my bucket list since I was in my forties.

I finally did it at 62. I finished the 13.1 miles in three hours and 17 minutes.

26,000 people participated in this one event, people of all ages. And most of them were not marathon runners. Most were like me, jogging a bit then walking a bit. Some walked the entire half-marathon. I passed a man wearing a neon yellow shirt reading “Blind Runner.” He was tethered to another man, also in a neon shirt, and he was walking instead of running, but he was doing it.

Everyone that knows me knows that the event was the highlight of my 2018, even though I also retired that year. There are many reasons for my feelings, but that is not the purpose of today’s blog.

The point today is to look for what you can do instead of dwelling on what you can’t, then do it.

We are often told we can do anything we set our minds to do, but that’s not entirely accurate. That blind man couldn’t run/walk the race without help, and I doubt he was able to actually run as there were occasional obstacles on the street that could have tripped him. But he was able to walk. He was doing what he could.

I know nothing about the gentleman, but I do know there are countless things he can’t do. He can’t read a normal book or watch TV. He can’t drive a car and likely can’t cook his own meals. But he can listen to audio books, listen to television programs, ride in a car driven by someone else, and maybe use a microwave.

And, with help, he was able to raise money for kids fighting cancer. He was a part of something that was bigger than himself. I imagine he felt even better than I did when he crossed that finish line.

That man has no idea what an inspiration he was to me. I have no idea what caused his blindness. Maybe he had cancer himself that caused him to lose his sight, and he wanted to do something to help others. Maybe he’s been blind from birth or had a congenital defect that took his sight. Whatever the cause, he wasn’t allowing it to stop him from doing what he could do.

A lesson for all of us, I think. Life is going to throw us some curve balls, and adversity will strike at some point. Illness and death are a part of life, but until we are faced with the inevitable, we can make the most of our lives with the abilities we have now.

Like the blind runner, I had help achieving my goal. My family, especially my daughter-in-law, were of great help and support. Generous contributors gave money to my fund-raising campaign. At every mile marker, employees of Memphis businesses were holding cups of water and Gatorade to keep us hydrated as we plugged along. There were residents cheering us along, musicians playing as we ran/walked by, and perhaps the most touching, St. Jude employees and patients thanking us as we ran across a small part of the St. Jude campus

So the next time you’re feeling discouraged about what you can’t do, think of the blind runner. He did what he could. You can too.

 

 

 

No, this isn’t a relative of mine. It is a stock photo online.

I normally post recipes on Tuesdays. But I thought maybe this topic needs to be written about and shared. Why? Because no one wants to talk about it. If they do, they feel disloyal. They feel like unloving children. They feel like people will judge them for feeling this way.

There is no doubt in my mind that we should respect the elderly. Other cultures revere the elderly for their wisdom and life experiences. Our culture, not so much. We tend to revere youth and fight aging with all our might. That focus on youth may make us intolerant of the elderly. Impatient with them. Even avoid them.

Before I begin what this blog is really about, let me say to you: If you placed your mom or dad in a nursing home and seldom see them or call them, shame on you. Well, shame on you if they were decent parents. If they were abusive or neglectful parents, well…that is your call. Maybe they are getting what they deserve. I don’t know, not my call to make. I know I live by the motto of doing right by others even if they don’t do right by me, but that’s my personal philosophy, the attitude that helps me look at myself in the mirror every morning. That’s just who I am. Yet I had good parents, so I don’t know how I would react to parents who were bad ones.

However, that is not what I’m talking about today. I’m talking about the children who had decent parents, who are now caring for them, and who often feel burdened, in spite of their love for their parents, because of the parents being the way they are.

I firmly believe that our negative traits are worse in old age, so look at your negatives right now and realize those traits are going to drive your kids crazy someday. If you strongly voice your opinions now, you’ll voice them in old age. If you are a hypochondriac now, that will worsen in old age. If you are fearful now, you will be fearful then. If you’re bossy now, you will be even worse. It goes on and on. Maybe you need to ask your family what your negative traits are so you can start working on them now.

The complexity of dealing with aging parents is that you want to respect and honor them but at the same time not be used by them. Sometimes they can be pretty selfish. Ever notice how an older person will fixate on something that needs to be done around the house that they can’t do and will go on and on about it without considering you’re working full-time and are very busy? Something that is not an emergency at all? Like that hole in the back yard that a neighbor’s dog dug and your parent wants it filled. Today. Now.

Or going to the doctor over every little thing. Your parent can’t drive anymore and want you to drop everything and take them at 12:30 on your lunch hour because he’s had a dry cough for three days. The one who wants you to take her to the emergency room over things like a nose bleed. The one who calls you at 2:00 a.m. and wants you to come over because his heart feels weird. The one who calls 911 for too many things.

You have to help calm their fears. You have to know what the real emergencies are. You have to be the parent of your parent.

What about the parent who complains about the food you bring or doesn’t show appreciation for the things you do? Not my personal case, but I’ve talked to people whose parents who can no longer cook complain about the food their children fix for them. Or the parent who refuses to give up driving, even though it is unsafe for the parent and the rest of society.

You love your parents. You want to do right by them. It often seems they are inconsiderate and selfish, and the truth is, many are. Some of you are lucky to have healthy aging parents, independent parents. But most elderly people are not that way.

Every parent, just like  every child, is unique. Caring for an aging parent can be challenging, even frustrating, exhausting (emotionally and physically), and even funny at times. Some parents are fiercely independent when they shouldn’t be, and some are totally dependent even though they could be more independent. Some are grouchy, some are kind. Most of them live in the past, and you listen to the same stories over and over. Be patient. Let them tell them. It’s what makes them happy.

Honor your parents. Do right by them, but sometimes, just like with a child, you have to discipline them, Kindly but firmly. No, Mom, we’re not going to the emergency room for a nose bleed. We’re going to stop it. No, Dad, I’m not filling that hole today. Wait until Saturday when I’m off. Dad, do you know how it makes me feel when you complain about the food I cook for you? I’m doing the best I can.

If you are dealing with an aging parent, know that you are not alone. Hang in there, and try not to let the emotional burden wear you down. Talk with a friend who is doing the same or even seek a support group. Sometimes just talking about the issues helps to relieve the stress.

Our society has trained us to be selfish. We have to work to overcome it, whether we are the elderly parent or the caregiving child or grandchild. It’s not easy.

But worthwhile things seldom are.

 

This is super easy and not as heavy as the traditional lemon ice box pie.

Ingredients:

1 large can Carnation milk

3 eggs, yolks separated from whites

1 cup granulated sugar

Juice from 3 large lemons

One packet of graham crackers, crushed

Instructions:

In a bowl, beat with a mixer the milk until frothy, add sugar and egg yolks, and beat mixture until well blended. In a separate bowl, beat egg whites until stiff. Add beaten egg whites to the milk and sugar mixture and blend. Add lemon juice and blend.

Spread crushed graham crackers on the bottom of a glass 11 x 9 dish (could be 13 x 9, but 11 x 9 is better), all except 3 tablespoons of crushed graham crackers. Pour beaten mixture on top. Sprinkle remaining crushed graham crackers (the 3 tablespoons) on top of the beaten mixture and place in freezer, covered, until frozen. Serve frozen.