Why I use a white cane–sometimes

I hesitate to write about this because I’m afraid you’re thinking, “There she goes again, writing about vision loss. Let it go.”

But I feel the need to explain for my benefit as well as the 85% or so of the blind community who are like me, who are not completely blind and likely have more vision than you think we do. We have functional vision.

The truth is, I don’t need a cane to walk in most places. I can see the road, the sidewalk, the floor, etc. But when I’m walking outside, by myself, I CAN’T tell if there is a rise in the sidewalk, a dip, maybe a small obstacle. I can see garbage cans just fine, although I don’t know they’re garbage cans until I’m about ten feet away. Maybe that dark shape is a person. Maybe it’s a tree. Maybe it’s…what?

I used to walk my dog in my neighborhood without a cane. Until I fell because there was an obstacle in the road I didn’t see. I knew that blob of concrete was there, but I had forgotten, and the next thing I knew, I was on my hands and knees and had blood pouring down my leg. Luckily no broken bones.

I use my cane when I walk to town on my own. My husband hates for me to do that, but he hates even more for me to be unhappy because I feel trapped in my house and neighborhood or feel dependent like a much older woman, not the healthy, active woman that I am. You want to feel embarrassed? Accept a ride with someone in their nineties. They’re still driving. You’re not. You appreciate the offer, but it is humiliating.

It is also humiliating to use a cane when you’re not completely blind. You feel as though people see you walk around that garbage can with no problem or cross the street (after stopping and listening carefully for cars). “She’s not blind,” they might think. “She’s just wanting attention.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. It is embarrassing to use that cane. But it signals to drivers that I can’t see them until they are maybe 10 or 20 feet away from me. They are more cautious and observant so I can cross the street feeling safe.

I use it in stores when I’m on my own because if I ask a clerk where something is, the clerk is likely to point and say “over there.” If they see the cane, they are more explicit or take me to the area I requested. I don’t use it at Walmart. I use my wearable headset to look at shelves or items when needed, and people soon figure out I can’t see so well. Or I use my ReBokeh magnifier on my phone or my Seeing AI app that will read aloud to me.

You may be wondering why I do things on my own. Why not just wait and go with someone? Well, first, I’m independent. I hate being dependent on anybody for anything. Second, I get really, really, really bored being at home most of the time. Some of you are homebodies. That’s great. I’m not. I like to be out and about and have my comfortable home as a place to come home to, not a place that sometimes feels like a prison instead of a refuge.

So I use the cane. I have to weigh my embarrassment against my restlessness and boredom, and the embarrassment pales in comparison.

In my vision loss journey, I am determined to learn strategies and adapt to be able to keep my independence and do things for myself. I cannot be that person who wants others to do for me.

I hope this blog will help you to understand people like me. I hope you will spread the word that not everyone that uses a cane is completely blind.

The cane is a tool. It doesn’t help me balance, but I don’t need help with that. I don’t need it in buildings that have smooth floors, although it’s very useful at the airport since it keeps people from running into me as they rush along to wherever they’re going. And, oh, I wear sunglasses outside for the same reason you do. To protect my eyes and avoid the glare. The glare for someone like me can be painful.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this blog. To my VIP friends, I wrote this for you as well as me. We say we need to educate, so that’s what I’m doing.